Nuggets of wisdom.... no, seriously

Direct descendents of Adam and Eve

2010-11-08T20:47:00.003-06:00

Roman: "Mom, who were the first parents?"

Me: "Adam and Eve."

Roman: "And then they had kids?"

Me: "Yep."

Roman: "Yeah! And then they had kids and that was grandpa and then there was us!"

Halloween

2008-11-09T21:56:00.006-06:00

Halloween was sort of a bust this year for us.

I planned to have a Halloween party for the neighborhood, and solicited volunteers in our neighborhood newsletter and through email, but only a couple of people replied that they could help. So I ended up planning, buying, and building for this party for pretty much the two straight weeks before Halloween. It took over my life and I was so glad just to get it over with.

I have no pictures of the actual event because I was running around the whole time, but lots of people came and it ended up turning out okay.

This is my kitchen before the party, but most of the stuff was already packed up. Because of all this party planning business, we put off carving pumpkins with the kids until the day before Halloween. This was okay because we learned the first year that we moved to Texas that if you carve them too early they will mold and collapse before the big day. However, Dario Jr. had a birthday party to go to that day, and we were going to carve pumpkins after that, but then big Dario got held up at an appointment and wasn't going to make it home until after I had to leave for my class that night,(community college-whole 'nother story), so instead of carving the pumpkins with the kids myself, I had to scramble to find someone to watch my kids until Dario got home. I called a million people before I found someone who could help. By the time I found a babysitter, it was time for me to leave. So Dario carved pumpkins with the kids when he got home. He was tired and grumpy, and it wasn't the fun it should've been. (He said.) I was upset that I hadn't gotten to do that with my kids, and anxious to see the pictures of Gabby, Dario, and Roman digging out the pumpkin guts. So I turned on my camera and this is what I saw.

Dario had taken lots of pictures, but the memory card wasn't in the camera. So disappointing.

So I missed that, but the next day was Halloween and we were going to have fun then. The party was over with and we were ready to just enjoy the holiday. But at 4:30am on Halloween morning, Dario Jr. came into my room feeling sick, and he ended up vomiting the whole morning. He had to miss school, where he was going to get to dress up as a storybook character and share a book with his class. I was supposed to go to a Halloween lunch with friends, but couldn't because I needed to stay home with Dario. And of course Dario Jr. and I then missed the Trunk-or-Treat party at church, because we definitely did not want to spread that around. What a bummer.

So big Dario took Gabby and Roman. Here they are in their costumes. Dario Jr. didn't feel well enough to even put on his costume. (We did end up putting pants on Roman by the way. Oh, and yes that was Dario's costume from last year or the year before that or something. Again, because of the neighborhood party planning we didn't find him an original costume this year.)

Little Dario and I set up a table in the driveway with leftovers from the neighborhood party. We had cookies and stuff to decorate them, cupcakes, and apple cider for the trick-or-treaters. We pulled out the back seat of my van and set a scarecrow on it, and surrounded that with hay bales and pumpkins for decoration. We turned on some Halloween music and sat next to the scarecrow and gave out treats to the trick-or-treaters. Again, no pictures, and no good excuses this time. But here he is trying to look happy while I am setting up.

Here are the pumpkins the kids carved with Dario. They took them to the Trunk-or-Treat. It just occurred to me how appropriate it was that we had one vomiting pumpkin.

When Dario got home with the other kids, little Dario slipped on his costume and went with them for a couple of blocks of trick-or-treating, but pretty soon his stomach was hurting again and they came home. This is the only picture we got of him. He was a ninja. He had a mask and hood and weapons, but didn't use them.

So that was our Halloween. Bleh. I'm glad it's over.

Why hello again emergency staff

2008-09-18T21:30:00.002-05:00

Tonight was the night for our bi-annual visit to the emergency room. We do our best to stop by at least two, if not three times a year. You know, just to say "hi" and can my kid please have a ride in one of your x-ray imaging type things, and yes I'd like to make a large donation, as our savings account has been getting much too large recently and we need to keep that under control. Also, I really like to use these opportunities as a friendship litmus test. If you're willing to take my non-injured children for hours on end at a moments notice, then I give you the honor of being my official friend. And the privilege of doing it again in a couple months. It's a coveted spot, as I'm sure you can tell.
It has been at least a couple of months since our last visit, when Roman chewed up an old Vicodin and got to have tons of fun drinking "chocolate milk" aka charcoal, in the ER, so Dario Jr. thought it was about time we take another trip down to see our old friends at the hospital. The method he used to get us there was to run and slide across the tile in my newly mopped kitchen, thus resulting in his feet flying skyward and his skull crashing downward. He cried and I iced the goose egg and told him he would be fine. I was even nice enough not to take any pictures of his misery. I sent him to his room to rest, and then woke him up a couple of hours later because I needed to go to the store to get an ingredient I was missing for dinner. He cried some more and told me it hurt, but frankly, Dario can be somewhat of a drama-king so again I told him I knew it hurt but I thought he would be fine. The guilt set in a little when he started vomiting. So I called my neighbor Carol, aka "my new best friend", and she took my other kids while I rushed Dario to the ER.
Many hours, more vomiting, some stickers, some cartoons, and one CAT scan later, we have arrived back from our visit. He has a concussion, and luckily no bleeding or skull fractures. Although, can I tell you one thing? There was a moment there when the doctor was telling me he needed to check for a skull fracture and I was kind of thinking that if he actually did have one, that I could use that to my advantage. I could say, "See? I was right. You cracked your head open just like I always tell you will happen." I think I can still use it though. "Be careful! Remember that time when your brother almost cracked his head open?!?" That's still pretty good, right? Not quite the same ring, but possibly still effective.
Anyway, we got to see all our old friends again. We really missed Admitting Chick, Registered Nurse, CAT Scan Guy, ER Doctor, and especially Billing Lady. It was a nice visit and we promised to come back and see them real soon. Dario especially liked it. His statement as we left the ER-and I quote- "That was great! I had so much fun! Except for the puking." Good times, good times.

Apple baskets no more

2008-09-17T21:19:00.005-05:00

You know what I hate? Ingrown toenails. That, and apple baskets. And that crust that develops around my faucet handles. But mostly apple baskets. But who doesn't like a delicious basketful of apples you ask? Me. That's who. Because I've been looking at flippin apple baskets pasted on the walls of my kitchen for the last four years of my life. Apple baskets and blue plaid country curtains. Oh, how I loathe apple baskets. But finally I have decided to do something about it.

Witness Exhibit A:

Witness Exhibit B:

I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. I actually prefer the look of raw drywall to the hideousness that was the wallpaper.

My daughter actually thinks removing wallpaper is fun. I've got a wallpaper remover and a meatball maker. This sort of free labor makes me rethink my decision not to have any more kids. Just think, if I pop enough of those suckers out, I could run me a plantation....

This child was not joining in the fun. He was too busy crying about some injury. So, like the good mother that I am, I comforted him by taking pictures of him crying.
Hey, it actually worked. I told him he could see the pictures but only if he stopped crying. So the crying stopped and he got to see what he looks like in full drama-mode, which is something most people don't get to do, (except for my sister who used to stand in front of the mirror while she cried so she could fully wallow in her own pity). Win-Win for everyone, see? Them's good parentin' skillz.

So fare-the-well apple baskets. Your ugliness shall not taunt me another day.

What happens in Vegas...

2008-08-31T21:33:00.012-05:00

Oh Baby. When I went to Las Vegas to see my little sister Brandy get married, who'd a thunk I'd have my very own celebrity wedding? Here's how it all went down....

My sisters and I were doing a little sexy picture posing in one of the hotels on the strip. Well, as we were taking photographs, a casting director for The Blue Man Group walked by.

He told us he had been searching for some hot sexy ladies such as ourselves to perform at the next show. It was a smashing performance. We brought the house down.

And as it turns out, Governor Schwarzenegger was in the audience that night. (He was relaxing a little before the Republican National Convention.) He was so impressed by my performance that he came backstage after the show and invited me to a party that night.

The party was filled with celebrities. I met Cameron Diaz, and it turns out we have a lot in common. (I mean, besides the fact that we're practically twins.) We swore to be best friends forever. She gave me half of her heart shaped BFF necklace, and we cut our fingers and rubbed them together so we could be blood sisters. Our bond will last forever, I'm sure.

All night at the party, Johnny Depp was totally coming on to me. Frankly, it was starting to get annoying, because he's hot and all, but I was getting tired of him telling me how great France was and asking me to run away with him to Paris. Finally, I gave him a peck on the cheek and told him it just wasn't going to work out for us. (That's why he looks so upset.) Later on that night, Brad and Angelina stopped by. I have to admit, I've had the hots for Brad for a really long time, so I took advantage of finally seeing him in person.

I mean it. I really did take advantage of finally seeing him in person...

He was totally enamored of me after that though. He likes aggressive women. (Hello? That's why he's shackin' up with Lara Croft!) Angelina only stayed at the party for a few minutes because she had an appointment to give a speech at the United Nations later. When she left, Brad found me at a VIP table and professed his undying love. He said that the way I nearly licked him when he walked into the room just set his heart soaring. He went on to tell me about all the arguments he and Angelina have been having over their interior decorating issues, and begging me to hop on his jet and fly away with him. Anywhere, just as long as he could be with me. I have to say, I seriously considered it, but after some soul searching I decided that I didn't want to be the one to come between Angie and Brad. I mean, come on! Think of the twins! So, our romance was not to be.

I was heartbroken for at least a half hour. But then I really did meet my true love. He and I locked eyes across the room and we didn't have to speak a word. We just knew. And we decided to get married.

That's when things started to get a little crazy. Al Roker came and interviewed me right away. You may have already seen the segment on "The Today Show".

The ceremony that night at the "Always and Forever Wedding Chapel" was beautiful, and so romantic. The inscription on my ring said, "I love you Sheyenne, always and forever. George."

After the ceremony we had an amazing reception. And I was surprised, although I shouldn't have been, that even as hasty as the wedding was, the paparazzi still managed to find us.

I was thrilled that Michael found time to come by and congratulate us. He even showed me some dance moves. (I'm still learning, okay?!?)

Our cake was scrumptious. George let me pick it out. And of course I chose chocolate everything!

The rest of the food was also divine. It was catered on such short notice by a celebrity chef friend of George's. The creme brulee was to die for.

The highlight of the evening was when Stevie Wonder serenaded us as we had our first dance. Later on, he invited me up to sing with him. It was awesome. And apparently he thought so too because he's invited me to do a duet with him on his next album. It'll be coming out sometime next summer. After a quick charity golf tournament the next day with Tiger Woods and some other golf guy, (George had already been signed up for a long time, and I wanted to support him), we jetted off to a private island. It's only me in this picture, because it was a private island, and George had to hold the camera. It was such a wonderful, unforgettable trip.

When we got back from our honeymoon, Oprah called. She wanted to be the first to interview me on my whirlwind romance with one of Hollywood's most sought after bachelors. That's how she said it, anyway. The show will be coming on soon. You can watch for it if you like. You'll probably miss it though, because you're so busy.

Unfortunately, though, since we've been back from the honeymoon, things have been pretty rocky. The paparazzi camped outside my house has been crazy, and I really think I'm more of a private person. I don't think I'm cut out for celebrity marriage after all. (Plus, I haven't told Dario yet, and the nerves about that are killing me.) So I've made a decision. I'm filing annulment papers tomorrow. I ask that you respect our privacy during this difficult time. Thank you.

It's the principle of the thing

2008-08-31T21:21:00.003-05:00

I received this check in the mail the other day. It took a lot of time, energy, and frustration to get this check, and even though it turns out to be less than minimum wage, when I pulled it out of the envelope I was very happy. It's difficult to see, but on the top green portion it says "PYMNT REFUND BBB". The "BBB" stands for Better Business Bureau, which is one of the parties I had to contact in order to get this five dollars. In fact, I made 4 phone calls and wrote 2 letters to secure this measly payment. But it was worth it in my mind, because of the principle of the thing.

Long story short- When I ended my service with Green Mountain Energy to switch to another less expensive (but still green), power company, they sent me a final bill. At the bottom of the bill it said in big bold letters, "DO NOT PAY THIS INVOICE". It said that because I was set up on an automatic payment plan, and had all payments charged each month to my credit card. I was surprised some time later with a call from a collection agency, which Green Mountain had turned me over to for nonpayment of my final bill. They threatened me with damaged credit if I didn't immediately pay by phone, and also pay their $5 pay-by-phone fee. After contacting Green Mountain, and speaking to a representative and a supervisor, and being told "too bad", in so many words, even after they acknowledged that a mistake was made on their part, I got really mad. It was only $5 extra that I was asked to pay, and it didn't hurt me financially in any way, but I am so darn tired of lousy service everywhere I turn that I decided to do something about it. So I wrote to the Better Business Bureau. And then I wrote to the Public Utility Commission of Texas. I spent time, effort, and postage because I was that ticked off. And apparently that's what it takes to get these people's attention, because lo and behold, here's my $5 check. And I will cash it with glee.

Quotable quotes from Roman

2008-08-11T14:27:00.005-05:00

"Mom, your legs hurt!"

As he ran his hand up my leg. I hadn't shaved in a while.

And after seeing his brother and sister losing teeth and being rewarded with a visit from the tooth fairy. (Or a bribe from me.)

"Mom, can you knock a tooth out?"

(then opens his mouth for me to do the deed)

And this one here gives me hope that someday my hard work caring for my children will be rewarded...

We were in the bathroom and I was helping him, and this was the conversation:

Me: "Roman, when are you going to be big enough to wipe your
own butt?"
Roman: "Um, when I'm older. And then I'll wipe your butt!"

Summer vacation

2008-07-27T22:14:00.006-05:00

We took a family vacation to Surfside Beach, Texas from July 14-21st and had a wonderful time. We invited Dario's sister Natalie and her son Tyson along with us and we're glad we did. The kids had a cousin to play with, we got someone to visit with, and I had and extra set of hands for cooking and cleaning and entertaining. We rented a little beach house called the "Sea Witch", which was only one house back from the beach. This is the 3rd house we've stayed in at Surfside, and it was the best, in my opinion. The location was great and it was decorated really nicely. The owners lived right next door and they told us they used to live there before they made it a rental, so I'm sure that's why so much work was put into it. All the kids in the living room.

The kids wasted no time getting to the sand and making castles.And finding shells.

Yes, we gave her boobs. We're bad parents. I only wished we had a bikini top to put on them...

Gabby as a mermaid.

Almost every evening at dusk we went out and caught sand crabs. They're fast little buggers so you have to keep a sharp eye on them and pounce quickly. And then you have to run screaming back to the bucket because they're little squirmy legs tickling the inside of your palms is freaking you out. That's the rules.

Here's a large crab that the people across the road from us pointed out. It was a female with egg sacs on her underside, and she was snapping mad!

My boys are even more handsome at the beach, don't you think?

The two Dario's flying a kite.

Gabby holding a shark head we found on the beach.

We took a side trip up the Schlitterbahn in Galveston. It was SO much fun! We only took a couple of pictures because we were just so busy going on all the slides and the lazy river over and over. We arrived at 10:30am and they had to kick us out at 8pm. Really. Me and kids were sailing down the lazy river and 4 lifeguards at different stations whistled at us and told us to get out, and Gabby was saying "Maw-om! They want us out!" and I just kept saying, "Look away Gabby. We didn't hear them!" Finally they turned off the waves and forced us outta there.

On another day we went back up to Galveston and rode the ferry. It was the first time my kids have been on any type of boat. We saw lots of other big boats, and a TON of dolphins. One of the neatest things we saw were a group of dolphins that were swimming in front of a huge boat and jumping out of the water. It was like they were racing. Can you see them out front in the picture below?On a couple of different days we went geocaching. It's another type of treasure hunt, like letterboxing, but you use a GPS unit to find the location of the cache. This is a picture of one that was actually full of prizes. It was called "Pretty in Pink" and it was a box full of toys and jewelery and other things that all had pink on them. The kids were so excited to find actual "treasure".

On the way home we stopped in Brenham to get some ice cream at the Blue Bell Creamery. It was delicious as always, and only $1 per huge-mongous scoop. It broke up the drive home and was a perfect ending to a wonderful vacation.

A buncha bananas

2008-07-27T22:07:00.002-05:00

This is the reason I just do the shopping myself. I sent Dario to the store the other day with a short list of things to buy. Included on that list was a bunch of bananas. So he came home with this:

"What? They come in bunches? You said you wanted a buncha bananas so
I brought home a buncha bananas!"

Fashion Show

2008-07-27T21:22:00.005-05:00

My sister-in-law Natalie and I took Gabby out the other night to buy some new clothes for school. It was a nice trip except for the crying at the end when Gabby realized she had forgotten her purse in one of the stores. We went back to Ross and she and her aunt knocked on the doors of the already closed store and tried to get some help. Finally someone came over and after Natalie describing through the crack in the door to an employee and then the manager every spot that Gabby had been in the store that night, (the shoe section, the girls' clothes, the boys' clothes, the other shoe section), and Gabby standing there crying and looking pitiful and heartbroken, (her whole life savings of $9 and other important things like assorted lip gloss were inside after all), they finally found it. By the toys. That was the one place where she was just distracted enough to put it down. And frankly, I was glad it was by the toys, because I know it won't be long before she won't even care to venture near that section. She's still my little girl.

But she does try hard not to be a little girl. She wants to be a young woman. And young women give fashion shows, so that's what she did a couple of days later, for a large audience consisting of her aunt Natalie, her cousin Tyson, Dario Jr., Roman, and me. Her best friend was the announcer and the stand up comedian for the intermissions where she changed outfits. After she ran out of jokes the boys decided to act wild and show their muscles. So giving, those boys.

After the show she was gracious enough to sign autographs for all of us. I'm hanging on to mine for when she's famous someday. I outta get some good money for selling it on Ebay, don't you think?

Letterboxing

2008-06-29T23:54:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I was trying to think of something to do with the kids besides going to the pool, so I decided to try letterboxing, which I had heard about before but never actually got around to doing. It's a neat little activity that lets you go on a treasure hunt of sorts, by going online and finding clues to the locations of hidden letterboxes. All you need is a stamp, a stamp pad, and a little log book. And then it's free fun from then on!
So on this day, the kids and I packed up a picnic dinner(Dario was out of town), and headed off to find a couple of letterboxes. We had some great fun around town.

Here's Dario Jr. searching at the location of one of the letterboxes we found.

Found it!

The kids at the "round rock" that gave our city is named for.

Roman watching the ducks.

We also found a letterbox located in the Round Rock Cemetery. We had never been there before and I'm glad we came. There's a lot of history there, and finding the letterbox was really fun.

The kids at the grave of Sam Bass, the leader of a gang that planned to rob the bank in Round Rock and ended up in a shootout with local lawmen that had been tipped off. Sam was shot and died a couple days later.

Gabriella in front of the sign for the slave cemetery. The slave section is back in a corner and is full of trees. There are very few markers. Many slaves were buried without headstones to mark the grave. Some just have a rock to mark their burial place. We also saw a tiny little cross that someone made to mark the place they buried their little pet bird there at the base of a tree. That was sweet, and the kids really liked it.
Found the letterbox!
Whoever did this one actually made a stamp with Sam Bass' picture on it. Definitely a great find and a really fun evening for us.

Tooth fairy Plan B

2008-06-29T22:58:00.002-05:00

Or maybe it's plan G by this point. (If you don't know what I'm talking about look here and here and here.) After forgetting yet again to exchange tooth for cash- Gabby again, but she announced right in front of Dario Jr. "Mom, the tooth fairy didn't give me any money!"- I have come up with another plan that may save me some face, although it will make me slightly more poor. But in this circumstance, since I've proved that I obviously cannot handle the heavy tooth fairy responsibilities at my house, I think it'll be beneficial for us both.

So here's the plan. Next time one of my kids loses a tooth, I will offer to buy it from them rather than have them leave it for the tooth fairy. I'm going to offer $2 per tooth, whereas the tooth fairy only pays $1 in quarters. I'm going to tell them that instead of letting the tooth fairy take all those teeth, that I want to keep their little baby teeth because I just love them oh so much and want to keep them for memories sake, and am willing to pay a premium for that privilege. Because my kids are greedy little buggers, I'm thinking this may work. The only problem I potentially foresee is that they're going to want to look at the teeth every now and again, so I'm actually going to have to keep the nasty little things somewhere.

But I think it's a good plan. What do you think?

Boys like dress-up too

2008-06-29T22:41:00.002-05:00

Well, I guess you already knew that my boys like to dress up. But this time, they actually did it as boys!

Here's the Power Ranger with the Peter Pan pirate sword....And the ninja with the baseball bat. What? You didn't know ninja's used baseball bats as weapoons? Man, you need to brush up on your history.

A garbage pile of my very own

2008-06-29T22:24:00.002-05:00

Man I've never been so excited about a rotting pile of stench before. Because this is my very own rotting pile of stench. Actually though, it's not very stenchy. The directions I read say to layer the rotting fruitiness with lawn clippings and other outsidey stuff, and that will keep the stink to a minimum, but I haven't really noticed much odor anyway. And soon (hopefully), this rotting pile of muck will be a pile of black gold that I can put on my garden and flowerbeds. Because I can use all the help I can get for those two areas. Plus, I feel all green and environmentally friendly-like when I throw these things in the little compost bucket under my sink rather than in the garbage can to be trucked off to the local landfill. You're supposed to keep the pile moist, so when the bucket is full I just fill it up with water before I dump it out. It adds wetness to the pile and rinses out the bucket at the same time. Try it!

Big sister strikes again

2008-06-29T22:19:00.000-05:00

Out of place

2008-06-19T21:18:00.002-05:00

Last week I walked out onto our back deck and saw a little fuzzy bird with a long beak and long legs standing on glider. It looked like some sort of water bird that definitely did not belong in my backyard. I ran to grab the camera and he hopped down and ran away, but I was able to snap a couple of (not very good) pictures as he ran away.

The next day and for quite a few days after, he and another little one just like him lived in some Rose of Sharon trees we have in our back yard. We thought about calling wildlife control (is that a real agency? I might have made that up...), but then I though that if there were 2 little chicks that there parents must have made the nest somewhere nearby. So we enjoyed watching them for a few days, and then one day we woke up and they were gone. I sure hope they actually flew away as opposed to getting eaten by the neighbor dogs.

Do any of you know what kind of birds these might be?

For the love of torpedoes

2008-06-19T21:10:00.002-05:00

These are Roman's new bestest toys. They're little diving toys shaped like torpedoes, and oh how he loves them! The first day we bought them they went with us to the pool. Then they went with us in the shower. Then they went with him in his room to play Little People get blasted by torpedoes. I had to sneak and put them in the pool bag when he wasn't looking later that day as I found them scattered all over the house from their various adventures. But alas, I should have just left them on the floor, because today we took five to the pool, and came home with two. They were no where to be found in or around the pool anywhere, so I'm quite sure that some other little boy fell in love with them and took them home.

Never a dull moment

2008-06-19T21:00:00.002-05:00

Little Dario's imagination is running wild these days. He's always full of funny ideas, and I love to hear what he's thinking. A couple of quotes from dinner conversation tonight:

After arranging M&M's on top of his vanilla ice cream-

"All my M&M's are in there command stations."

And then later, after doing some deep thinking apparently-

"I wish I could shoot babies. Chubby ones. Then if a bad guy came I could
shoot babies at him! Really fat ones!"

(While he's saying this he's got his arm stretched out like he can shoot babies from his wrist, like Spiderman shoots web.)

Where he gets this stuff, I do not know. I guess that's why I'm not a boy.

Grandma Raquel's visit

2008-06-08T21:35:00.005-05:00

My mother-in-law came to visit us last week and we had a wonderful time. She spent a lot of time doing special things with the kids and spent one on one time with each of them. In the evening after the kids went to bed we played cards and had time to talk. It was a really nice visit and we were sad to see her go.

One day Raquel and the kids made cookie pizzas. She took them to the store to buy cookie dough, frosting, and toppings and then came home and baked the cookies and let the kids go to town decorating them however they liked.

On another day while the Dario and Gabby were in school, Raquel, Roman, and I went to Zilker Park. We walked through the Botanical Gardens, rode the train through the park, let Roman play at the playground, and then Grandma bought snowcones and we relaxed and watched the pigeons before heading home again. I was wiped out from the heat. Apparently so was Roman because when everyone headed out to the pool later on, Roman puked in the pool 3 times. Good times.

Another day Raquel took the kids to the craft store to buy treasure boxes. They each picked out the box that they wanted (except Roman was more interested in this pirate ship), and brought them home and painted them. My camera batteries were dead when they were actually working on them so I don't have any pictures of the action, but this is what they look like now. Roman painted the ship all by himself. Gabby spent a lot of time on the details of her pink and purple box. Dario got a little treasure chest box, which I can't find right now to photograph, but it turned out really cute as well. Raquel had to leave at 4:30 am last Sunday to catch her flight in time, but she left a letter for each of the kids to find when they woke up in the morning. Those are the first treasures that went into their boxes, and will mean a lot to them for a long time I'm sure. Raquel, you are such a wonderful mother, mother-in-law, and grandma, and we're so blessed to have you in our lives!

MUST...READ...AT...ALL...TIMES

2008-06-08T21:14:00.002-05:00

Here's Dario on his inversion table. Reading. Reading here just as he reads everywhere else and at all times that he has a spare moment. Don't tell him I told you this, but he's been known to go into the bathroom and sit on the pot when he doesn't actually have any business to take care of there, just to get away and read without being bothered.

A typical conversation

2008-06-08T21:10:00.004-05:00

Overheard in the backseat of the truck as we were driving home from church today:

Dario Jr: "Roman, I love you."
Roman: "I love you too."
Dario Jr: "Can I have a bite of your fruit loop necklace then?"
Roman: "NO!!"

Lofty goals

2008-06-08T20:59:00.005-05:00

Dario Jr:

"Mom, when I grow up, I want to live in my car."

Way to aim high son. Way to aim high.

Freak target

2008-05-23T21:20:00.006-05:00

Why oh why are they so drawn to me?! Besides the kid in the grocery store the other day, who really was creepy by the way, (after reading my post I think I just sound mean, but it really was weird I tell ya!), there was another, even more freaky, lady in my class last night at the library.

So there I was in the free! Excel class last night, and the teacher started making small talk about how far technology has come and he talked about a company that can put a computer chip in you so your car and house doors will unlock as you come up to them. Then he mentioned how there's a company that has come up with the idea to computer chip your child so if they are ever lost or abducted you could find exactly where they were. Just offhandedly I said, "Hey, sign me up for that!" Man, I never would have said that if I knew the wrath that I would bring upon myself for that casual statement. So there's this tall skinny black lady in front of me who makes some comment that I didn't fully hear about "the mark of the beast". I giggled a little because I thought she was making a joke, but no. It turns out she was talking to me and when I giggled she spun around in her chair and goes, "You shouldn't be laughing! I'm serious! You better quit your laughing because what you don't know CAN hurt you!"

Whoa. I was a little shocked and had to say, "What? I didn't even really hear what you said at first. What?"

Then she says, still deathly serious, "That's the mark of the beast! You better go read Revelations before you go and do that to your kid! Do you go to church? Read Revelations! What you don't know can hurt you!"

And seriously internet, I wish you could just hear her whole freak out. I don't feel like I can get across with mere typing the tone in which she approached me. My only response was, "Yes, I go to church, but I really don't want to get into this discussion with you right now." Holy crap! I realize that lots of people are seriously focused on the "mark of the beast" and have different beliefs about what that actually is, but, again, HOLY CRAP! Are you seriously going to make a scene with me in this little library computer class because I made a flippant remark about keeping tabs on my kids?!

She had it out for me after that. The guy I was sitting next to was telling me how he was tired and was going to head home and go straight to bed after class. I told him that I was probably going to do the same since my son had kept me up the night before because he was sick with strep throat. At the end of class she turned around again for another attack. "Did I hear you say that you had strep throat?!" "No," I said, "my son has strep throat." Then she goes, "Well! I sure wish you would have told me that to begin with! I have to go to work tomorrow and I don't need to be sick! Just cause it's your son doesn't mean you're not a carrier of it!" At that point I didn't even know what to say to her. I didn't want to start anything, because we've got part 2 of class together next week, so I just said "oh, I'm sorry about that," which I totally kicked myself afterward for giving any hint of an apology to her, but it's always easier to think later of what you should or should not have said.

I'll go in prepared next week though. I'm actually hoping we sit in the same spots and that she tries to say something else to me. (And yes I know that's wrong. I shouldn't go looking for conflict.) Maybe I'll get over it by next week and decide to be nice. But maybe not. I really just want to say something very snarky back to her so she doesn't think she can just say anything she wants to me. I'm not one to be pushed around.

On the upside, I did learn the basics of Excel, for free!, and I'm looking forward to class (the learning part) next week.

Meet Sara

2008-05-22T23:44:00.003-05:00

Gabby and I have been volunteering at the Williamson County Regional Animal Shelter. I told Dario, and myself, that this would NOT lead to us having any more pets. I lied. The first day that Gabriella and I went to volunteer, Gabby came home crying because she wanted to adopt a little chihuahua named "Pocket". It was horrible, and I actually talked to Dario after we got home while Gabby was upstairs still crying, and we ended up deciding to adopt him. Well, it turns out that Pocket got adopted the very next day. But since then adopting another pet has been on my mind. It breaks my heart to see all those sweet dogs and cats who need homes and people to love them, and may end up being euthanized if that doesn't happen. The last few days I decided to adopt a pet who needed a home, and I ended up getting a dog not from the shelter, but from a lady who was darn close to having to put this dog into a shelter. This is Sara- She's not the prettiest dog, (notice the pronounced under bite in the 2nd picture!), but she's as sweet as can be. I adopted her from a lady who has way too many pets and wasn't able to take care of her properly. She used to live in the house but had been relegated outside as they acquired more and more pets. The lady said she shaved and bathed her before I picked her up, but I gave her a bath when I brought her home and the tub had a layer of dirt on it still. Also, the hair on the back of her legs where the lady didn't shave well was really matted down, and I had to go back and trim it all by hand. She was so good and just laid there and let me do it. She had fleas when I picked her up(you can see how her front leg is red from her constantly licking and biting and scratching there, and there's more patches and scabs on her body that you can't see). I got a pill at the vet's office that kills all the fleas in 30 minutes, and they were seriously just falling off of her. I picked some right out of her hair as they were dying. She's never been vaccinated and she's not spayed, so that's my first order of business. She has little hanging boobies like she's had puppies recently, but the lady I got her from swears that she hasn't. (I'm quite sure she's lying, but whatever.) In any case, she's in good hands now, and I hope she'll be healthy and happy with us.

PS. If you are thinking of getting a pet, please consider adopting one from your local shelter or rescue group instead of buying one. There are so many animals there that are waiting for a family. Petfinder.com is a great site that will show you animals that are available for adoption in your zip code, both in shelters and in rescue groups.

I think he's on steroids

2008-05-22T23:34:00.004-05:00

Can you believe these muscles?!?

Sunday Dario Jr. pulled a big piece of candy out of his pocket that the bishop had given him. Turns out the bishop came to Primary that day and asked for a volunteer with lots of muscles. Well, of course Dario raised his hand, what with his bulging muscles and all. He said lots of kids raised their hands, but the bishop picked him because he could just see that he had the biggest muscles. He's right. Those other kids have got nothing on him. Check him out-

I know I'm late, but I'm lazy

2008-05-17T22:44:00.005-05:00

Mother's Day was last Sunday, and it was wonderful. This was the best Mother's Day I've ever had. Usually my kids make me breakfast in bed, which sounds nice and all, but I really don't like it. I'd prefer a bowl of cereal and some extra rest over a hot breakfast any day. So I asked Dario not to do it this year, and they complied. And I actually got to sleep late. (Well, kind of. We had church at 9am.)

So I woke up and Dario had gotten all the kids dressed and fed and I only had to take care of myself before church. There were cards from Dario and the kids on my bedside table when I woke up. And the kids had made me gifts at school.

When I picked Roman up from the nursery at church, he yelled out, "Happy Mother's Day!" and handed me a little red envelope with a noodle and bead necklace in it that he had made. It was so cute and he even helped me put it on and told me it looked pretty.

Then after church, Dario fed the kids lunch and got supper in the crock pot while I took a nice long nap. He came to nap with me after he put Roman down and I heard him tell the kids, "If you need anything you come to me. Do not disturb Mommy." That was SO nice. They always come straight to my side of the bed.

When I woke up, Gabby gave me a card and a treat she had made while I was sleeping. The card said, 'Dear Mom, Happy Mother's Day! I'm so glad that your my mom! I know its hard but deal with it ok? Love you! Love your daughter Gabby.' For dessert she partially melted chocolate chips in the microwave and spread them on a plate and then topped them with peanut butter, peanuts, and heart-shaped sprinkles. And she told me she even scraped off the burnt parts from the chocolate chips for me. How nice. ;)

I relaxed the rest of the day and Dario played with the kids while I read my book and did what I liked. It was an absolutely wonderful day.

PS! How could I forget? The night before Dario had bought me some chocolate-covered strawberries which were delicious of course, and then on Mother's Day at some point he gave me two bags of chocolate- one was Dove bites and the other was Dove chocolate covered almonds. SO GOOD.

Supermarket woes

2008-05-17T22:03:00.002-05:00

You know what I love at the grocery store? (Besides the candy aisle, I mean.) Normal and polite grocery cashiers who check me out quickly and are attentive and polite.

You know what I don't like at the grocery store?

1. cashiers who won't look me in the eye, and won't even say 'hello' unless I say it first

2. cashiers talking incessantly to the bagger, the cashier in the next lane, the co-worker walking by

3. cashiers who just look cranky and like they'd rather be anywhere else than checking out my stupid groceries

4. cashiers who are way too friendly and keep talking to me (in a non-solicited way) long after my stuff is bagged and paid for and I'm ready to get outta there.

And then there's a number 5, which is this kid I had check me out the other day at HEB, who I'm sure had good intentions, but drove me absolutely bonkers. He was of the overly friendly, way too helpful, creepy type.

I walked up to the checkout lane with my cart of groceries, and Roman in the kid seat. He came out from his spot behind the cash register and gave Roman 2 buddy bucks AND a buddy bucks book. Roman didn't care about the book and just took the buddy bucks, but the kid wasn't taking no for an answer and had to open up the book and point out all the cool prizes to Roman. Then when Roman still didn't care about the book, and he wasn't quitting, I finally said, "Here, I'll take it," so he'd stop already and go check out my groceries.

But no. He then proceeded to help me unload everything from my cart onto the belt. It was really awkward and quite maddening actually, because GEEZ KID, get up there and ring up my stuff! But also? He kept reaching for stuff in the same spot that I was going for, so his hand would go down and then recoil, and then reach again, and then pull back. And worst of all was when he went to grab the little box in the corner of the cart, which was a 'feminine product', and then pulled back because he didn't want to pick it up.

Only when that was the last thing left in the cart did he finally go to the cash register and ring up my purchases. And he talked the entire time. I lost count of how many times he said, "Boy, that sure is a lot of Fruity Pebbles!" (It was on sale for a dollar a box so I bought quite a few boxes, but do we seriously have to mention it once for every box?!) Thankfully there was no commentary on my feminine product. (Hey, maybe he felt so awkward about that that he couldn't think of anything to talk about except the cereal?)

I went and bagged up the groceries as fast as I could so I could get out of there, but alas, I just wasn't fast enough, and we got to play the dodging hands game again while he reached for the items that I was already putting in bags. (Dude, do you see me bagging the fruit? Don't grab the fruit then!)

Eventually everything was packed up and I got the blazes out of there, but seriously, I will be watching out for that guy in the future and choosing another lane.

Manic

2008-05-17T21:53:00.002-05:00

Wow, I have been crazy full of energy today for some reason. Here's what I've done today:

Woke up and did the HUGE mound of dishes and pots and pans that's been gathering by the sink for days

Cleaned the rest of the kitchen

Cleaned out Dario's cooler that he brought home from camping

Totally cleared all the clutter out of my bedroom and freecycled stuff I didn't want

Cleaned and vacuumed carpet upstairs

Did 3 loads of laundry, including bedsheets

Bought and picked up a dresser off Craigslist

Painted a wicker table

Painted the new dresser

Hung a bird feeder high up in a tree

Took another trip to the store to buy bird food, and filled the feeder (had to be on a ladder to do this)

Painted my front door (it looks like heck by the way, so I'm gonna have to paint it again)

Cleaned up all the messes from my paint projects

Walked the dog in the dark

And now lookee here- I'm bloggin!

Worse than water

2008-05-06T22:02:00.004-05:00

On Fridays Roman and his friend Logan have playdates. When they are at Julie's house, there is nary a problem. When they are at my house, all heck breaks loose.
So Logan was over here on Friday, and he and Roman were playing nicely. Then Roman walked into my room and I asked him what he and Logan were doing. "Playing,"he said. "Oh?" I asked. "What are you playing?" "Little People," he answered. Okay. Good. They can't get into much trouble with Little People.

Or so I thought.

Roman went back into his room and a moment later I heard Roman say to Logan, "No! You're gonna get it wet!"

"AH HA!" I thought. 'They're playing with water! I've caught them! And early enough that there can't be much mess!" He was, after all, just in my room. So I marched in there ready to take away the cup of water that they had probably sneaked (snuck?) in there from the bathroom. As I opened the door, Roman dove under his bed with the contraband. And it was not water. Oh no. It was much, much worse. Here, I'll give you a clue:

Any guesses?

It wasn't these red hot atomic bomb jawbreakers which they apparently tried first and then decided against-

Here you go.

This was after I drug Roman out from under the bed with the jar of peanut butter in his hands. Apparently our games of hide and seek, where he hides under the bed every time and I come into his room and check everywhere else first while saying, "Where is that Roman?", have convinced him that he is virtually invisible under there. Roman saw the camera and immediately started smiling about it, but I did my best to remain angry while saying in my meanest voice, "Stop smiling! This is not funny! And hold your hands up so you don't get everything messy!" (and so I can get a picture) "You are very naughty boys!" Click.

This is his smile starting to fade when he realized I really was not happy, even though I had a camera in my hand.

I made him try to scrub it off himself. That frustrated him. And I was GLAD. GLAD!!For all the mess they had on themselves, there were only a couple little streaks on the carpet from where Roman's arms hit as he lurched under the bed. I think there was probably a little around the room that I didn't see too, since I caught Chester in there a while later licking the toys, but he cleaned it up well, because I haven't seen any since.

*sigh*

A day in the life with Roman.

Rubbin' corner

2008-04-30T20:43:00.003-05:00

When Roman was born more than 3 years ago, a friend from my ward sewed him a baby blanket. It is yellow on one side and white with pastel alphabet letters on the other. Or, it used to be. Roman has loved it and carried it around with him every day of his life. He uses it at night to snuggle and he rubs one corner against his nose while he sucks his thumb. After 3 years, it's hella nasty, and looks disgusting even straight out of the wash, but oh how he loves it. This is his favorite corner of the blanket. What caused him to actually pick a favorite corner, I do not know, but now it's obvious which one it is. He actually rubbed it so much that it wore right through. Now we just call his little snuggle routine "rubbin' corner"- as in, "Hey Roman, do you want to go to bed and rub some corner?" or if you see him snuggling his blanket and ask him what he's doing he'll say, "Rubbin' corner."
It's cute that he has a lovey.

I think I'm an antique

2008-04-30T20:27:00.005-05:00

Mom, right now we're studying Greek mythology, and then we're gonna study
Medieval times, and then we're gonna study, like, a little bit before you were
born.

Free ice cream and toilet spray

2008-04-29T23:25:00.005-05:00

The high and low of my day. Free Ben and Jerry's ice cream! Yay! I took the kids after school and we all sat outside in the beautiful weather and ate our treats. I had cheesecake brownie, which was not as good as I had hoped, but hey, cheesecake and brownies even in a not-as-good-as-I-had-hoped-kind-of-way is still pretty darn good.
There were a ton of people there and some 20-ish looking girls came and stood on the stairs out front where little Dario had been sliding down the rail as the rest of us finished our ice cream. They started up a conversation and it must have interested him because he got off the rail and actually stood right there in their little circle and stared at them as they talked, until I finally pulled him away.

After getting ice cream we headed over to the library to check out some books and movies. While we were there Roman had to go to the bathroom. (Hallelujah he's finally potty-trained!) So we went into the restroom and squeezed into one of their tiny stalls, since the larger handicapped one was being used. He did his thing and then needed help to pull up his underwear, so I squatted down to help him and the darn automatic toilet went off just as I bent down. I hate those things. They're always going off at the wrong time and sucking the toilet seat cover down, or giving me the bidet-effect, or, today, spraying me in the face! I've kindly drawn you an artistic re-creation of the horrid event:And yes, his real-life butt cheeks really are that cute.

Dario Jr.'s 6th birthday party

2008-04-28T20:50:00.004-05:00

Dario Jr.'s birthday was on the 15th, but he chose not to have a big birthday party. He said he's rather just take a couple of his closest friends and go to Texas Jumping Beans, which is a place they have all sorts of inflatable jumpy things like this:

After putting this little get-together off for 2 weeks, one because of scheduling conflicts and the other because Dario came down with strep throat, we finally got to go. Dario and his friends had a great time jumping and chasing each other around. And we got really lucky that day because the owner's wife came in and did free face painting.

Dario wanted to be a skeleton. Gabby chose something more pretty.
The kids actually jumped for about 3 1/2 hours! Then we left to get pizza. I thought I'd pick up pizza at Little Caesar's since they are supposed to have them "hot and ready". That didn't work out quite as planned however. There were a bunch of morons working there and they had an entire warmer FULL of pizza, but handed out none until they had at least 10 orders backed up, because they took too many orders and got mixed up. Then when they finally came down the line and I was next, they skipped me and served the next 4 people before I demanded to see the manager. So we got our pizza in after about 45 minutes. The kids were starving and hot. But all was well once we got home. The boys ate and played around a little.Then we had Dario blow out 6 candles on 6 separate cupcakes. No trick candles this time.
After all that, Dario opened gifts and the boys all took turns playing with the new toys. It went great and Dario and the other kids had a wonderful day.

My kids? Competitive? Nah!

2008-04-20T19:05:00.003-05:00

Tonight we were playing a card game with the kids. After a few rounds little Dario and Roman got tired of playing and decided to just watch Dario, Gabby, and me play the remainder of the game. The game was dragging on for a long while with no end in sight and I was trying to do things to make it easier for more cards to get played, but Dario would do no such thing. So since he was going to play for the win no matter what, Gabby and I decided to gang up and help each other just so he wouldn't win. In the meantime, little Dario decided that he was on his dad's team. He cheered and taunted and made an evil little laugh every time Dario made a good play. Well, Gabby and I managed to turn things our way, and as I was laying down the winning card, little Dario popped up off of his dad's lap and shouted, "I'm on Mommy's team!"

*******************************************************

Roman loves to do puzzles, so I spend a lot of time in his room these days assembling jungle animal scenes and the like. It can get kind of repetitive at times, so the other day I tried to spice things up a little. And for those of you who know me or read my blog on any sort of a regular basis, you'll know that I love to tease my kids. So we were putting together a puzzle and when it got down to the last piece I grabbed it and put it in place really fast and shouted, "I win!" Roman really got into it after that and it became a contest as to who could get the last piece. But after a few rounds of that things began to get out of hand. Roman started to get really ticked off when I'd grab the last piece, and he'd start screaming. So I explained to him that puzzles aren't really for winning or losing and that it was just fun to do them together. He agreed and we started another puzzle. When it got down to the last piece I had it in my hand and, trying to make sure I had gotten my point across, I said, "Am I going to win when I put this piece in?" I was glad to see that he understood when he shook his head and replied, "No. Puzzles aren't for winning mommy. They're just for fun." After that answer I knew that he had understood so as a gesture of good will I handed him the last piece and said, "Here Roman. You want to put it in?" "Sure," he nodded. Then he took the piece and, frantically shoving it in place, screamed, "I WIN!"

Happy Birthday Mank!

2008-04-15T22:29:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was little Dario's 6th birthday. We kept it pretty low-key, and it was just a nice relaxing day. I had set out Dario's gift on the kitchen table so he would see it when he got home, but when he arrived from school he stopped by the door and asked me if we had gotten him a present. Since he hadn't seen it yet I thought I'd mess with him a little.

I said, "No, that's just for friends to do at parties."

"No. Did you get me a present?" he asked.

"No, I told you. That's just just for friends to do at parties."

"You really didn't? Why?"

"Well, I just didn't really feel like it. Maybe next time."

"Mom..."

That was fun, and I could have gone on with it for a while, but then Gabby came in and asked him if he had opened his gift yet. (She had already gone into the kitchen.) Darn it!

We let Dario open his gift, which was a couple of remote control bumper cars that you try to ram them into buttons they each have on the sides of the cars and when you hit a button the driver screams and is ejected from the car. He liked it, but unfortunately so did Roman, who has spent a lot of time screaming that he wants it and that it's his turn.

After he opened his gift and played for a while, we all went to the movies and watched "The Spiderwick Chronicles", which was good, but I had no idea there would be so many scary goblins and ogres trying to do bodily harm to nice people. I expected at least one, if not two, little boys creeping into my room last night, and I was right. Roman did come in.

When we got home the kids played bumper cars some more and jumped on the trampoline, and then we lit the candles on Dario's cake and sang "Happy Birthday". (If you're wondering if I skipped writing about dinner because that's boring, no need to wonder. Dinner was popcorn and candy at the theater. I'm such a good mom.) We used trick candles on the cake, and Dario told little Dario that if he could blow out all his candles on the first try we'd give him $20. He was excited about that prospect, and both Dario and I were very worried we'd actually have to pay out when we lit the candles and there were no tell-tale sparks coming from them. But it seems that trick candles have come a long way since I was a kid, and they no longer pop and sizzle when you light them. He blew them all out multiple times and they just lit right back up. It was quite entertaining. Little Dario had never seen them before so he had absolutely no idea what was going on. It was pretty funny and I got it all on video. And maybe someday I'll actually get it added onto this post, but for now I've given up trying. (I actually wrote this post last night and fell asleep while Dario was trying to figure out how to get the video edited.)

I asked Dario what the best part about being six was, and he said, "I'm almost 8 so I can be baptized, and I get to be the same age as some of my friends." Sounds pretty good to me. Happy Birthday Monkey Mank!

He put his finger where?!?

2008-04-09T12:40:00.004-05:00

When I was out running yesterday I saw a smashed armadillo on the road, and first I thought "Yuck, that looks sick", but then I was wondering what armadillo actually tastes like. I mean, it's GOT to be good, because the measures my father-in-law went to to actually catch one of those babies for a meal when he lived in Argentina are great. Let me explain.

According to my father-in-law, armadillos are a delicacy. When he was growing up in Argentina they were always on the lookout for armadillos. Mostly they'd see them while driving along a road somewhere. When they spotted one they'd immediately pull the car over and hop out and give chase. Armadillos are fast runners, and they're really fast diggers. In the event that they were able to outrun or corner an armadillo, it would immediately start digging. So it had to be stopped somehow.

And this is the part that I'm speaking of when I say he went to great measures.

In order to stop the armadillo from digging, he had to put his finger....

um, how do I say this....

...where the sun don't shine. You know, the back door. IN his behind. Yes. That's right.

But if you stop to think about it, this really does make sense. I mean, if someone did that to you, you'd stop digging, wouldn't you?

So then they had it, and they'd take it home and put it in a cage, with a bottom of course so it couldn't dig out, and take it out when they were ready to eat him. And then if they were really feeling industrious, they'd make a guitar out of its shell. So they got a great meal AND a musical instrument. Pretty nifty, but let me tell you, that meat would have to be awfully tasty to get me to go to those lengths to get some.

Throwing things is therapeutic

2008-04-07T22:15:00.002-05:00

This is our shoe basket. It has been placed under a table right by the front door so when we come into the house we can just throw our shoes in and have them out of the way. I bought this basket because apparently the shoe rack that I had there before was too much effort. You know, having to actually set the shoes down on it and all. This basket only required tossing, which I thought was a fair compromise between me wanting things neat and the rest of my family wanting to be lazy, uh, I mean, wanting ease of use. But do you see those shoes that are not in the basket? (And believe me folks, it's usually much worse than this. There are normally about 3 pairs of my husband's shoes lying somewhere in the vicinity of the basket, much like his clothes that are thrown in the vicinity of the hamper. But I digress...) And this was making me very mad. UNTIL, I found a solution to relieve my anger. And it actually works. All I do is pick up those shoes and chuck them into the garage, preferably slinging the matching pairs into opposite corners. No more nagging, and you wouldn't believe how nice it feels to throw things. Not quite as satisfying as dishes would be, but then, I'd have to clean that mess up, so this really is even better. My family now knows where to look if they can't find their shoes in the basket, and I don't have to hear a word about it, because they know why. So far it hasn't helped shoes make it into their proper place more often, but that's okay, because whenever I'm irked about something, I just go look for some therapy in the vicinity of the basket.

No longer a bumbling toothfairy trainee

2008-04-07T21:50:00.004-05:00

After approximately 5 years of training (my best guess as to when Gabby started losing teeth), I think I'm finally starting to get this down. Dario Jr. lost yet another tooth. I begged him to try to keep it in just long enough for family pictures, (4! missing teeth, looks like someone punched him in the mouth!), but he gave me some bunk 5 year old excuse about his gums giving out and yada yada yada. Whatever. Always thinking of himself. Hurumph!

Anyway, as I was saying. Thanks to the intensive 4 teeth in a row training I've gotten as of late, I'm starting to work out a system. We're now leaving the tooth smack dab in the middle of the kitchen island where I won't forget, and we're also putting it in water that has food coloring in it so I won't drink it.

When Dario woke up there were 4 shiny quarters at the bottom of the glass, and all was well in the world. Hoo-RAY for me.

Why yes, I do enjoy being frustrated.

2008-04-05T22:15:00.001-05:00

Got some spare time and like to get angry? Click here.

Does Jesus pay HOA dues?

2008-04-05T22:11:00.002-05:00

Roman is getting really good at recognizing places around town, and can even tell me where to turn to get home sometimes. The other day we were driving down a road and passed the entrance to our subdivison, and Roman pointed and said, "Our house is over there, Mom."
"Yep, that's our neighborhood, son," I said. Then he pointed up to the sky and said, "And that's Jesus' neighborhood."

Determined to be miserable

2008-04-01T22:38:00.002-05:00

A conversation from tonight in the van after dropping off Gabby for Activity Days

Dario: *pitiful sigh* "Mom, when will I be old enough
to go to Activity Days?"

Me: "Activity Days is for girls, Dario. But when you're 8 years
old you can go to boy scouts."

Dario: "No. I don't want to go to boy scouts. I'm not going to
go."

Me: "Yes you will. They do activities just like the girls only
it's with all boys."

Dario: "Well I don't like it and I'm not going."

Me: "Yep, you will go, and I'm sure you'll like it."

Dario: "NO! I don't want to go!" *starts to cry* "Why should I?
What's in it for me?"

Me: "Fun. That's what's in it for you."

Dario: "I HATE fun!"

Easter

2008-04-01T21:50:00.004-05:00

We had a really nice Easter this year. We did all the fun stuff , like dying eggs and having an egg hunt and seeing the Easter bunny, but we tried to focus on the true meaning of the holiday as well, and talked a lot about Christ's resurrection and what that meant for us. It was a nice balance and made for a wonderful day.

This picture is from the neighborhood egg hunt. I asked my husband to get pictures of all the kids with the Easter bunny. This is what I got. Geesh. Husbands.

The hardest part for Roman was having the patience to wait for the egg to be colored.

Little Dario was SO proud of his painted egg.

Dario painting an egg. Every year he finds a new way to decorate. I thought I was fancy using some oil in a couple of the cups to get a tie-dye effect, but NO. He's gotta embellish with paint or stickers or crayon or rubberbands or whatever. Outdoes me every time.

THE HUNT on Easter morning

Gabby was all excited that she found the golden egg, because last year we put money in it. Oops, we didn't do that this year and I didn't realize that egg got stuffed and mixed in with the rest. She was a good sport about it though.

Happy kids with lots of loot.

Notice that this tray has two empty spots. We couldn't find the last two eggs, so either some animal ate them or we're going to find a couple of nasty rotten smelly surprises in our yard soon.

Juvenile jokes at my daughter's expense

2008-03-30T21:02:00.005-05:00

Part of a mother's job is to pass down juvenile practical jokes to their children, right? I don't know why I remembered these the other night, but I'm glad I did. They were just as fun as they were in junior high! Remember the one where you have someone squeeze their chin really tightly and then they end up with a bruise? I don't even remember how you're supposed to get the person to do it, but I didn't have to give a reason. She's only 9 so when I told her to make a fist and squeeze her chin really tight for as long as she could, she listened. HA HA!

Then there's the quarter trick. Memba this? You trace a quarter onto a piece of paper with a pencil, making sure you go around and around spreading as much lead into the grooves on the edge of the quarter as possible, then you hand the quarter to the person and tell them to roll it up their face from their chin to their forehead and see if they can drop it from their forehead directly onto the circle you traced.

AHHH HAHAHAHAHA!

She didn't realize she had a line down her face when I told her to smile pretty for a picture!
I'm so immature, but I'm okay with that.

A sweet moment

2008-03-30T20:33:00.002-05:00

Tonight we had family home evening, since Dario will be gone all this next week. When we told the kids that we were having it tonight, the response from little Dario was a big, "Ugh, do we have to?" We all went into the family room and had a little lesson on the first couple paragraphs of "The Family: A Proclamation to the World ". It was a nice discussion and we basically just explained the meaning of the words and emphasized that we are children of our Heavenly Father and how neat it was to think about that and realize our potential in this world. When we finished Dario asked little Dario to give the prayer. Gabby wanted to give the prayer and was disappointed that she didn't get called on. My kids usually fight over whose turn it is (fighting over prayer-really nice I know). But this time when little Dario bowed his head, he lifted it again and told Gabby that she could say the prayer if she would like to. So Gabby offered the prayer and they both felt good. I was so proud of little Dario and I pulled him aside afterward and told him so. He then asked, "Can we have family home evening every night?" What a change! I explained to him that the wonderful peaceful feeling he was having then, and when he felt moved to let his sister give the prayer, was the Holy Spirit. He smiled and nodded. It was a wonderful moment, one that makes me so glad that I'm a mother to my children and a daughter of my Heavenly Father, and blessed that I get to share in the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ with my family.

Isn't he pretty?

2008-03-22T21:50:00.005-05:00

I was sitting at my desk yesterday when Dario came out of the bathroom and ran by me like he was trying to hide something. I don't know how I recognize this run, but I always do. So I told him to come back into the room and show me what he was hiding. He didn't want to come in, but I insisted, so he reluctantly stepped back into the room, wearing a dress and red lipstick, and with his head hanging down sheepishly said, "Gabby dressed me like a girl." Gabby came belly-laughing out of the bathroom and I immediately grabbed my camera. He took off running for his room and Gabby and I chased him and she held him down while I got this picture.

Don't worry. He's not scarred forever. He thought it was funny too and actually posed for one right after this.

I'm so proud

2008-03-22T21:43:00.002-05:00

I've been being a good mom and trying to do some home preschool with Roman. Recently we've been working on drawing circles and straight lines. He's apparently really excited about it because he's taken to practicing on his own.

I'm so proud.

Rotten food connoisseur

2008-03-20T21:22:00.005-05:00

Would you consider eating yogurt that had been expired for a month but still smelled okay?

Uh.... me neither.

Especially since getting sick the day before I have to stuff these eggs-

all 1300+ of them,

at my house with about thirtyhundred other ladies that I guilted into it, and 2 days before the big neighborhood egg hunt which I am in charge of (can't quite remember why I signed up for that- oh yeah, it was to refute my reputation as a deadbeat), would be a disaster.

Otherwise, I may have considered it.

Oh, don't act all surprised. I already told you I eat very questionable meat.

Muscle man

2008-03-17T22:48:00.002-05:00

Little Dario is really into his muscles right now. He likes to check them out and admire their big-ness, and to make sure we admire their big-ness too.

"Mom, look at my muscles. They're pretty big for a 5 year old."
"Hey Mom. I drank all my milk this morning. Look."

Craigslist 101

2008-03-15T21:57:00.009-05:00

Good evening ladies and gentleman, and welcome to "Craigslist 101". I'm here to show you how to make tens, hundreds, even millions of dollars from crap you have laying around your home, yard, or garage by selling it on craigslist.org. How is this possible you ask? Well, my friends, it's simple. I'm here to tell you the secret lies in these 3 little words:

1. beautiful

2. vintage

3. shabby chic

With these 3 magic words you can transform your junk and cast-offs into cold hard cash. And I'm here to show you how.

Let's start with the first magic word- "beautiful". Now you might think that to list your item as beautiful it would have to be "pleasing to the eye" or "nice to look at". But folks, here's where you need to widen your horizons. The definition of "beautiful"need not be restricted to such stifling terms. Take these examples from my local craigslist listings, whose titles all contained the word "beautiful": As you can see, "beautiful" can also mean "lots and lots of flowers" or "ruffly" or "very busy" or "lots of bright and shiny colors in an alien face pattern". You may have thought you would have to set these items out on the curb for trash pick-up, but I'm here to tell you that simply is not the case. Just list your flowery, ruffly,busy, or shiny items on craigslist using the word "beautiful" in the listing title, and you can now charge hundreds of dollars! Wow! So easy!

Okay, let's move on to "vintage". This is the magic word that immediately turns "old and kinda gross" into "old in a very cool and stylish way". Yeah baby. When you use the word "vintage" in your listing title, people will want to just open their wallets and dump all their cash right into your pockets.

Take this old Barbie van that someone dug out of the box of toys their mother saved from when they were a kid. Put vintage into the description and voila! From junk to $30.

How about this duck lawn ornament with a broken beak? Call it "vintage" and BAM! It just went from trash to $20. (This duck is white and has peely paint so it could also be classified as "shabby chic", but more on that later.)
Now for the massage table. You might think this is junk, but add the word "vintage", and WHAMMO! Fitty bucks. Do you know how much people will pay for a "vintage massage"? Me neither, but it must be a lot judging by the price of this table.
And take a look at this suitcase. I'll bet you all have an old suitcase or two lying around the house. Well take a lesson from this seasoned seller, and put that baby up for sale as "vintage". This particular suitcase has been in the lister's family for 25 years! Don't be shy to tell people that. It speaks to the true quality and durability of the piece. So dig those suitcases out from the recesses of your attics and make a quick $25!

And lastly, this lawn chair. You might think the dirt and rust would make this non-saleable, but you'd be wrong. It only adds to the "vintage-ness" of the chair. List it as such, and make an easy $15.

And last but certainly not least, we'll move on to our last key word, "shabby chic". If you have anything white with crusty peeling paint, then "shabby chic" is the word you're looking for. People will pay top dollar for these items.

Old door frame as "shabby chic" home decor.

This table isn't banged up. It's "shabby chic!"

This headboard doesn't need a new paint job. It's so "shabby chic". Also, the house behind it was not listed, but it should have been. It's not dilapidated. It's "shabby chic" and I'm sure it could fetch top dollar listed as such.

So there you have it people. Put these lessons into practice and you'll be sure to make some quick dough. And don't forget to join me next time for "Craigslist 110" where I'll be discussing how to turn your junk from the 50's into dollars by using the term "mid-century".

The toothfairy is incompetent

2008-03-10T22:29:00.007-05:00

Remember how I told you that sometimes the tooth fairy in my house forgets to leave the loot? Well, I thought that was the worst I could do, but it turns out I was wrong. Oh so wrong. And there was no getting out of it easily this time either.

Little Dario lost one of his top front teeth. It had been loose for so long, and he was really happy to finally have it pulled out and to be able to leave it for the tooth fairy so he could score some cash. He was all smiles right before he went to bed.

See?

I told him to go put his tooth in a glass for the tooth fairy and leave it on the counter next to the refrigerator. He went downstairs to do it and came back up and said, "I put it in a tall glass so she'll find it easier!" Good plan son. Good plan.

Dario falls asleep fairly quickly so I was sure that I wouldn't forget this time around. Well, I was almost wrong about that, but then just before I headed up to bed that evening, I remembered. And believe me, I was plenty proud of myself, and frankly, relieved that I wouldn't have to confront a crying Dario the next day with an explanation of how the tooth fairy must have injured a wing or something and couldn't fly to our house that night.

My relief was very shortlived however, when after I had dug 4 quarters out of the coin jar and come back to the kitchen to swap the tooth out with them, I saw no glass. And definitely no tooth. Okay, Dario must have just put it on the wrong counter, I told myself. So I checked the other counters. Nope, not there. Then I thought that maybe I emptied it into the sink by accident, but I checked the counter by the sink and there were no tall glasses. Still, I had big Dario dig down into the disposal to make sure it wasn't in there. Nope. Now I was starting to worry a little. Dario and I began to check all around the house. We checked all the bathroom counters. Both of us even dug under little Dario's pillow just in case he had changed plans thinking the toothfairy would figure it out. No tooth. How in the world could this happen? I could just imagine the disappointment on little Dario's face in the morning when he didn't find his quarters in the glass where he had left his tooth. I couldn't just pull out any glass, because our glasses are all mismatched and I had no idea what kind of glass he had left his tooth in.

And yes, I realize now that I probably could've left the money on the counter without a glass and it might not have phased him, but that's just not how my mind works, okay? It has to be done just exactly right or I'm afraid my kids will catch on to the truth, just like how I have to have all the presents from Santa wrapped in a different type of wrapping paper than the ones that are from us. It just HAS to be that way. And so it doesn't occur to me that I could fudge a little and it probably wouldn't matter. If that had occurred to me, maybe I wouldn't have done what I did next, which was to make my son cry.

Because, after both Dario and I had searched the house in vain and had found no sign of the tooth, the only solution that I could see was to wake Dario up and ask him if he had left his tooth out for the toothfairy, and when he replied that he had, and reiterated that yes, he had left it next to the fridge, and yes, it was in a glass, and yes, he was sure, I proceeded to tell him that I thought I had lost his tooth, and that I would write the toothfairy a note and ask her to please leave something anyway because it was all my fault.

And then he cried.

Because I am a bad mom.

So I wrote the toothfairy a note:

And then, what do you know? The tooth fairy wrote back, in handwriting very similar to my husband's, and also Santa's, and also left 4 shiny new quarters.

And little Dario woke up the next morning and was pleased as punch to see his quarters on the counter, and didn't even read the notes. So all was well.

Except for the fact that later that morning my husband noticed that there was a bloody little tooth lying in the bottom of my water glass on my nightstand which I had been sipping from all night.

Fish flax

2008-03-03T21:14:00.003-06:00

Okay, I just had to post this. Forgive me if you don't find this as crazy cute as I do. I love the little fishy with the cleft-tail and big smile. And I really love the the part where he says, "He like it." If you can't quite make it out, this is what it says- "Her(e) is my fish. I am feeding. I feed him fish flax (flakes). He lik(e) it." That head with legs on the right side is Dario Jr. Love it.

Hack Hack Hack

2008-03-03T20:49:00.003-06:00

I singlehandedly ruined an entire family's special moment with their new baby this Sunday. Okay, I probably didn't entirely ruin it, but I'm sure I messed it up quite a bit. I've had a cold for a few days now, but I was feeling well enough on Sunday to go to church. That morning a family in my ward (congregation) was blessing their child. This is a special moment for a family with a new little one, where all the relatives come and priesthood holders, including the child's father and close friends and family, lay their hands upon the new child's head and ask Heavenly Father to bless him or her. Everyone bows their heads and is very quiet while the blessing is being given. Everyone that is, except me, who , right at the very moment the father of this beautiful little girl began to speak, launched into one of the worst uncontrollable coughing fits of my life. It felt like someone was tickling the top of my throat with a feather, and I could not control my reaction AT ALL. At first I tried to just clear my throat gently, but that only made the situation worse. Pretty soon I was coughing repeatedly, and LOUDLY. The poor girls' mom probably couldn't even hear the blessing over all the ruckus, but I absolutely could not stop. Believe me, I tried. This resulted in some heavy gagging and more fitful coughing. I was so mortified with myself. I wanted to stand up and run out of the chapel, but I thought that would create an even bigger distraction. So the coughing and gagging while unsuccessfully trying to hold it in continued all the way to the very end of the blessing, whereupon as the child's father held her up for all to see, and everyone oohed and ahhed over her, I finally stood up, red-faced and still hacking, and hightailed it outside into the foyer. SO embarrassing.

Girl party at my house

2008-02-27T15:52:00.003-06:00

Well, maybe. This is last minute, but if anyone wants to come over tonight to play Rock Band with me, then please do. The rockin' will start at 8:15. I will amaze you with my mad
gee-tar skills. Call me or email if you wanna come, and I'll be sure not to be in my underwear when I answer the door.

Here's my email, but write it with no spaces. sheyenne alvarez at yahoo . com And change the 'at' to an @. Hope I see someone tonight. (Please be my friends!)

My son the hunchback

2008-02-22T23:53:00.002-06:00

This is how I found Dario Jr. sleeping last night. That big lump under the blanket is his hamper. Besides the castle that he's sleeping on, there was a big pile of toys hidden under the blanket with him. He woke up as I was pulling the hamper out and said, "Hey! You're ruining my hideout!", then promptly fell back asleep.

Guess who was in the closet?

2008-02-22T23:36:00.003-06:00

I've harnessed her powers for good

2008-02-22T23:03:00.002-06:00

I am brilliant. Or maybe not so brilliant since this hadn't occurred to me until now.
I can't stand icky squishy gooey raw meat of the non-slab variety. (Steaks and pork chops I can handle). I don't want to touch it or have it touch me in any way. When I buy family packs of ground beef I have been known to go so far as to promise special "favors" ,(ahem), to my husband to get him to separate it into smaller portions so I don't have to touch it.

Sooo, the other night I wanted to make meatballs, but as I contemplated whether it was worth the full-on meat to skin contact I would have to make to get them, I had a stroke of brilliance. My daughter loves goo and muck and slime. The more disgusting it is, the more she likes it. Why hadn't this occurred to me before? "Gabby!" I called. "Do you want to make meatballs? You can squish the meat in your fingers and pretend it's brains!" When she heard the word 'brains', she was all over it. And thus, we had very yummy, very well combined meatballs. Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself.

From awesome-est to lousy in less than a day

2008-02-18T21:25:00.003-06:00

Remember when I told you I was the most awesome-est wife ever? Well, I was mistaken. Very sorely mistaken. Because the most awesome-est wife ever wouldn't leave her two year old to play in the shower when she got out, whereupon he would plug the drain with a washcloth in order to make a pool for himself. Would she now? No. The answer is a big fat NO. The most awesome-est wife ever wouldn't do that. I suck.
So there I was, sitting at the computer while the bathroom, and then the walk-in closet, was flooding. Flooding to the point where it seeped through the floor boards in the closet and started to drain into the vent and leak into the dining room downstairs. The dining room with my new wood floors. That aren't supposed to get wet.
So I'm sitting here relaxing and listening to the water run in the bathroom, blissfully unaware that anything of that nature was going on, when I hear Dario frantically screaming at me from downstairs. He's screaming at me to shut of the water and get towels. ALL of the towels!
Needless to say, we had a little situation on our hands. The carpet and padding in the closet were sopping wet. We had to clear everything out of the closet,rip up the carpet, and remove the padding. Then I called a ton of water restoration places and got quotes to dry it all out. The damage? $625. And that's after taking the lowest quote and talking another guy down based on that. And, we have to listen to these huge fans blowing for 3 days probably.
And that, my friends, is not very awesome.

I am the most awesome-est wife on the planet

2008-02-17T23:41:00.002-06:00

Today is Dario's 30th birthday. Happy Birthday honey! And I am the most awesome-est bestest ever wife on the planet, because I got him a Playstation 3. AND RockBand. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hold your applause please. And I was sneaky about it too. I went out yesterday to GameStop, after calling all over town and finally finding a place that had a Playstation in stock, and picked these beauties up. Then I took them over to our babysitters' house (who would be watching the kids as we went to Dario's movie of choice where I would not complain once about what he chose. See? Awesome. I told you.) I had their mom sneak the goods over to our house after we left. I told them to leave the RockBand game out on the ottoman where Dario could see it and put the Playstation under the kitchen sink so he couldn't see it. My plan was for him to see the game and I would act all excited to give it to him, but then he'd have to break it to me that it could only be played on Playstation 3. I don't play video games normally, so he'd totally buy that I didn't know any better. And it worked just as planned. And my acting was SO good. Let me just say that. Because it was. He was all, "Honey, did you know that this is only for Playstation 3? The sales person should have told you. I can't play it, but it was really nice of you." And I was all, "Oh honey. I'm sorry! I just picked up the box and paid for it. Well, maybe you can trade it for something else. Shoot. That's a bummer."

Then I took the babysitters home and let him be disappointed. When I got back I went about cleaning the kitchen and casually reached under the sink and pulled it out and said, "Can you play it on this?" Oh Yeah! Awesome! Did I mention that I'm awesome?!? He loves it. And actually, so do I. Next time my husband goes out of town I'm totally gonna form a girl band. Who's in?

Is it too late for a Valentine's Day post?

2008-02-17T18:24:00.004-06:00

Valentine's Day was 3 days ago. (Aren't you glad I told you?) It used to be my absolute favorite holiday at school. I loved getting all the valentine cards from kids in my class, making the boxes to hold them, and of course getting loads of candy! It just doesn't seem the same for my kids now. Gabby sat down and wrote all her valentines in about 5 minutes. They make their own bags at school, which all pretty much look alike, and then sit at their assigned seats with the same kids they're assigned to sit with every day, and play BINGO.
When I was little, it was a much bigger production. We made our own valentine boxes and had a contest that was judged by our teacher. We got to sit wherever we wanted and played all kinds of games. I think the whole last half of the day following lunch was dedicated to the party actually. And there was so much preparation ahead of time by the kids.

First of all, there is NO way I finished my valentines in 5 minutes. This was an all night affair, which required much planning and forethought as to who would get which card and how many conversation hearts and what the conversation hearts could and couldn't say depending on how I felt about that particular person. The most important ones were 1) the boy(s) I liked at the time, 2)my best friend(s) at the time, and 3)the kids I 'hated'. And by "at the time", I really mean at the exact evening that I was preparing valentines, because as any girl knows, these categories changed from day to day and moment to moment. Girl drama. I don't miss it. Seriously. Because even though I'm grown I'm still subjected to it sometimes. So really, I don't miss it. Now what was I talking about again? Oh yeah- the enormous pressure to select just the right valentine for each classmate. Okay, so like I said, this required much thought.

First, for the boy(s) I liked, I had to pick out the card with a good picture that wasn't too girly, like 'Hefty Smurf', with the most 'I like you' connotation in it. Then, and this was the tricky part, I had to pick out just the right conversation hearts to include. This had to be just the right mixture of the way I really felt- so a few "Love" "Marry Me" "Cutie Pie" "Call Me", but with just enough other one's thrown in- "Smile" "Cool" "Neat", so that he couldn't know that I'd deliberately picked out his candy. I was going for the "I just tossed these in here and this is what you ended up with. Or did I?" effect. Ideally, he'd wonder, but never know for sure. Cause I'm slick like that. And believe me, I'd scrutinize the valentine he gave me and read into every phrase in there as well. If I got good sayings, I'd know he liked me. If they weren't so good, I'd assume he just tossed some in there. (It definitely couldn't be because he didn't like me. I just knew he did!)

Next in importance were the 'best friends'. Now this could be a warm and fuzzy thing where I picked out all the cutest and biggest cards and best flavors of conversation hearts for all my pals who all loved eachother, or it could be used as a passive aggressive form of girl cattiness. All you readers of the female persuasion probably already know how that could be, but for any guys out there who are thinking, "Huh? How can you use valentines in a mean way?", I'll explain. Say I was 'best buds' with Cathie and Susie, but yesterday Susie ticked me off by not picking me first for dodgeball. Well, Susie should have thought twice about doing that to me on the day before the Valentine's Day party, because now Cathie was going to get a huge Smurfette valentine with lots of pink and green and yellow hearts(the best flavors, of course) that say things like "Best Friend" "My Pal" and "You Rule", while Susie will get a small valentine, maybe with a little 'accidental' rip in it if I was really mad, with Brainy smurf (cause he's ugly), and white and purple hearts (yuck!) that say "Get Real" and "Whatever". And because she's a girl she will know that it was all on purpose, but never be able to prove anything to a teacher or parent. See how that works boys? Girls can find ways to be snotty even on Valentine's Day.

Now onto the 3rd category. "Kids I Hate" This was also really important. Boy who hit me in the stomach with the basketball at recess? Kid who told everyone it was me who farted? I'm talking to you. They basically got the same stuff as Susie, but with less hearts and messy writing.

The rest of the kids got, well, the rest of what was left, minus all the hearts that said "Let's Kiss." I ate those. I wasn't no floozie!

*sigh* I miss the good 'ole days.

Maybe you should rethink that line....

2008-02-13T22:52:00.002-06:00

This is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard in a commercial, and it wasn't even meant to be funny.

From an ad for Bowflex:

"I gave all my FAT clothes to my FAT friends."

I don't think he's going to have any friends left after that. hehe

Roman is free years ode!

2008-02-10T21:31:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was Roman's birthday. We kept it simple. In the morning we took all the kids to Texas Jumping Beans, which is an inflatable toy place. Then Roman got to pick what he wanted for lunch, which was *suprise!* chicken nuggets from McDonald's. After they were worn out and fed full of grease, we came home and Roman helped me decorate his birthday cake. We sang "Happy Birthday" and gave him his gift, which was a "Little Einsteins" playset with the rocket ship and 4 characters. He loves it and has been playing non-stop since he got it yesterday. And suddenly Dario Jr. is all about playing with him (with the new rocket of course.) But Roman's happy, so Dario can use him for his toys all he wants as far as I care!

3 Reason I love you, Roman

You give me as many hugs and kisses as I want. And good ones too. You hold on long and tight and snuggle and rub and caress and rub noses with me.

You love to be with me, even if it's just doing the dishes or sitting next to me on the couch watching cartoons.

Your smile. It can be happy, or hammy, or shy, but it's always sweet.

I love you, Roman.

A beautiful tribute to President Hinckley

2008-02-10T21:27:00.000-06:00

My sister sent this to me by email. It's a wonderful video and I had to share.

When two year olds collaborate

2008-02-08T23:00:00.000-06:00

Remember Little Rascals?

2008-02-08T22:50:00.000-06:00

Roman has two cowlicks that converge at the back of his head in opposite directions, which gives him the "Alfalfa" look he's sporting here. We thought if we let that part grow long enough it'd eventually lie down, but it just makes a higher point!

14 year old filth

2008-02-08T22:40:00.000-06:00

That is what we found when we ripped up the carpet on the stairs. I had no idea that there could actually be a thick layer of dirt underneath the carpet padding. It was so gross, and now that's what I think about as I walk on my not-anytime-soon-to-be-replaced carpet upstairs.

Yuck!

This is what happens

2008-02-08T22:34:00.000-06:00

...when you leave your husband unattended with your camera.

Wouldn't it be awful...

2008-02-05T08:54:00.000-06:00

... to be the person in the picture they put next to the obesity articles?

I highly doubt this lady said, "Oh suuure! You can photograph my rear end and attach it to an article about how I shouldn't be served food at any restaurants. I'd love to be the poster girl!"

I can't imagine the horror I'd feel if I saw my own picture attached to an article about fat people for millions to gawk at. I always feel bad when I see these pictures and just know that they probably had no idea that someone was taking them, or even worse, that they did see some stranger rudely taking their picture. And I hope that they never see the articles online. That would be really hard to take.

Embarrassing moment #25437589475937

2008-02-04T20:40:00.000-06:00

Why can't my kids just leave midgets alone? (Was that incredibly un-PC? Okay, I know it was. I just like the word "midget". It's fun to say. I told you I was mean.) Anyway, I've had my fun. Back on topic. Why can't my kids just leave little people alone?
Tonight me and the kids went to HEB to buy some ice cream (because I made chocolate fudge muffins which must be eaten warm with vanilla ice cream), and there was a lady working there who was "of small stature". (Seriously, I don't even know if that is PC or not, but I'm trying....) Roman saw her and immediately started pointing and shouting- seriously, SHOUTING- "Mom! LooooK! Looook at her! She's little Mommy! Loooook! LoooooooooooK!" And I'm trying to calm him down and stop the scene he's making by gently saying, "Yes, I know honey. She's small. Shhh. Yes. I know. I know," which is not working at all because he's so excited. Then Gabby claps her hand over his mouth and gives the loudest "SSHHHHHHH!" she can muster, which, although good intentioned, made the scene that much worse. I just tried to act cool as could be while I hustled everyone outside. What else can you do?

And as usual, this is a repeat of a similar, but worse, episode I had a couple of years ago. (Much like the tooth fairy incident repeat. I'm starting to see a pattern here. I'm not sure what to make of this....) Ironically enough, this one was also in the HEB. I was with little Dario when we stopped in the meat section. Right across the aisle from us was a small gentleman, who also paused to look at some things. Now this was right after we had watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" in the movie theater. (Can you see where this is headed people?) Dario looked across the aisle and his eyes got wide and he says, (not shouting luckily, but seriously the guy was 3 feet away from us and there's no way he couldn't hear) "Mom. Look! There's an Oompa-Loompa! Look!" I was mortified, but again, trying to keep my cool and knowing this man could hear but was politely pretending he couldn't, I said, "No son. He's just a regular man. He's just short." But Dario insisted. He was absolutely sure of himself. "NO, Mom. Look. Right there. THAT man. It's an Oompa-Loompa. It IS! LOOK!" I repeated myself again a couple of times before he would believe me and let it go. Then I quickly, (but not too quickly as to make the guy think I was trying to leave quickly), hustled my cart and my kid far away into the dairy section. Again, what're ya gonna do?

Sometimes the tooth fairy forgets

2008-01-30T19:17:00.000-06:00

I'm an absolutely lousy tooth fairy. This time it wasn't too bad, because it was Gabby's tooth, and she's aware that her mother is the tooth fairy. I have a history of forgetting to exchange teeth for coins though. I'm fully aware of this, and so is my daughter, so last night I told her to say to me as she and her brothers were going to bed, "Mom, I can't wait to see what the tooth fairy leaves me." wink wink And she did just that, but I still forgot. When she came and told me this morning I had to cover my tracks.

"Did Dario see the cup yet?!?" (I have them leave their tooth in a cup of water instead of under the pillow. On top of forgetting
to do it, I'm way too nervous to try to reach my arm under their pillow
without waking them up.)
"No," she said.
"Then run downstairs and hide the cup behind something and I'll leave the
money after you leave. Then you can pretend you're just finding it after
school."

This is not the first time I've had to do a cover-up. It was worse when Gabby lost her first tooth when she was about 4 years old. She was so excited to have the tooth fairy come. So we did the whole tooth in the cup of water set-up and left it out on the kitchen counter. And of course, I forgot. When Gabby woke up she was so disappointed.

"Mommy, the tooth fairy didn't come!"
"Oh honey. I bet she didn't see the cup. We kind of had it
pushed to the side. Let's leave it out right in the middle of the counter
tonight, and I'm sure she'll see it."
"Okay."

Next morning....

on the verge of tears "Mommy! The tooth fairy didn't come
AGAIN!"
"Oh gosh honey...you know, uhhhhh, there are so many little
kids losing their teeth right now. I bet she just got so busy she couldn't
make it around to everyone all in one night. Let's give her one more chance."
dejected "Okay, Mommy." sniff, sniff
"Hey Gabby, why don't you go into the living room and pick out a movie to
watch?"
"Alright." shuffles into the living room to rifle through videos,
at which point I hurriedly grab change from my purse and drop it quietly into
the glass, exchanging it for the little tooth(I just couldn't chance forgetting another night)
"Hey honey!! I can't believe it! I was just looking in the
fridge for a snack and when I turned around your tooth was gone! She must
have snuck in when I wasn't looking!!"
"Yyyyyyayyyyyyy Mommy!!"

Luckily she was a 4. And gullible. I don't think little Dario would fall for that, so I really need to get my act together.

Goodbye President Hinckley, for now

2008-01-28T10:20:00.000-06:00

The president and prophet of my church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, passed away last night. Here is the story from the church's newsroom. http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/

It is a sad day for members of the church, but I'm sure it is a happy day for him. His wife, Marjorie Pay Hinckley, had passed away 4 years ago and he missed her dearly. They are now reunited.

President Gordon B. Hinckley holds a special place in my heart. First of all, he is the only prophet I have ever known as a member of the church. I was baptized in 1996, the year after he was called. The second reason is very personal, and I won't go into details, but he was at the dedication of the Billings, Montana temple, which I was also able to attend. That day, I gained a personal testimony that he was, indeed, a prophet of God.

I love that he was always, always kind. Even when talking about challenges the members were having that needed to be improved, he taught in a loving way, never chastising. He was funny and witty and gentle and kind. Even though I didn't know him personally, I loved him.

And I will miss him.

1-2-3-4-5 babies!

2008-01-25T20:29:00.000-06:00

I made a New Year's resolution this year to do at least one act of service each week. I plan to have it be a mix between formal volunteering and just helping neighbors or friends where I see a need. I know I'll grow from it, and I hope to find some good opportunities that I can involve my kids in as well.
Today was the first day I actually did some "official" volunteer work. I got to go and help with the Wilkinson quintuplets. When I first got to their house, it was pretty quiet. Only two babies were awake. So Rachelle, their mother, had one and I had the other. But after awhile they began to wake up one by one. It was neat to spend time with them and to compare how different their personalities all were. They were all SO cute, but oh my! Five babies, even between two people, is an awfully big job! I was only there for 3 hours, and all I really had to do was give them a couple of bottles and keep them entertained, but I was pretty pooped by the end. I can't imagine having 5 babies full-time. I used to look at my own kids when they were babies and tell them, "I love you, but I'm sure glad you're not twins!" And I still am.

Insensitive

2008-01-25T10:44:00.000-06:00

My husband came home from Judo this morning with a broken hand. When he did a throw on someone, they landed right on top of his fist, and he said he heard it snap. And, being the compassionate wife that I am, my first response was, "Can you still work?" (Hey, he wasn't crying, and some one's gotta bring home the bacon to pay for my pricey new floors!) He said "yes."
And, because I've got all the confidence in the world that he is a tough -as -nails-manly-man, I've got him downstairs right now installing my wood floors. No sense in putting that off just for a little broken hand, I say.

Ungrateful wretch

2008-01-24T18:19:00.000-06:00

Do you ever sit around feeling sorry for yourself, but you can't really think what it is you're feeling sorry about? Things are pretty good here. Good husband, good kids, good house. The only think I can think of is it's the dreary weather. Either that or I'm just an ungrateful wretch.

2nd choice

2008-01-20T23:34:00.000-06:00

From a conversation I had with my sister on the phone tonight, regarding some friends of hers who are trying to adopt a child.

...I mean, these people are so great. If I died, I'd want to give my kids to them. I mean, I'd probably give them to you, but I'd want to give them to them.

Thanks Nikki. I love you too.

(She was kidding by the way. Or so she says.)

UPDATE: I'm still alive

2008-01-20T13:13:00.000-06:00

Just thought you'd like to know that. The scary stalker/murderer didn't break in last night. And good thing for him, because I kept my stabby knife nearby. I couldn't leave it on the nightstand where my kids might see it, or more importantly, where the murderer could see it while I was sleeping and use it to stab me first. No, I'm much too smart to leave it there. Instead, I stuck it into an upright book under my nightstand, with the blade in the pages and the handle sticking out, right where I could easily grab it should an attack occur. So go ahead an try it scary man. I'm a woman with a plan.

Home Alone

2008-01-19T23:08:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting at my desk right now with a long sharp kitchen knife next to my keyboard. You know, just in case I need to stab somebody in self-defense. I'm having another episode of paranoia (I hope) that there is someone watching me and waiting for the opportunity to sneak into my house and do horrible things to me or my children. Did I mention that my husband is out of town? My potential murderer knows that already, because he stakes out my house and watches my every move. He keeps track of when Dario's car is gone for an extended period of time so he can terrorize me then, and only then. He watches me through the windows after my kids go to bed too. I'd close the blinds but then the neighbors won't have an opportunity to be potential witnesses and possible lifesavers when this guy decides to attack me, right? So what's a girl to do when the house is dark and quiet and then she hears a thumping from somewhere (WHERE?) in the house that she knows she's not imagining because her dog heard it too, as evidenced by his ear perk and turned head? I'll tell you. She walks around the entire house with the best stabbing knife she can find, making sure doors and windows are locked and checking closets and undersides of beds. That's what she does. Then, with knife in hand, standing in the furthest corner of the kitchen so she can monitor all the entrypoints, she calls her absent husband half a country away to tell him she's potentially going to be murdered tonight, and midway through describing her ordeal, he starts laughing at some practical joke he played on his co-worker and tells her to hold on a minute, at which points she gets seriously frustrated and says, "I'm going to be murdered any minute. Sure, I'll hold on." and hangs up and then comes upstairs to blog. Because gosh darn it, someone needs to hear what may potentially be my last words. So these are it. My last words, I mean. Potentially. If I'm murdered tonight.

If not..... then I'll see you all here tomorrow.

Okay, the phone thing didn't happen exactly like that. There's no way I'd just hang up and let my husband slide that easily. I gave him a serious guilt trip and then he apologized and comforted me a little. Which did not make up for the callous laughing while I was in (potentially) serious peril, but whatever. He'll have enough guilt when I'm murdered.

Not quite the message she meant to send

2008-01-19T16:27:00.000-06:00

Gabriella had an assignment at school to write a brochure about the town we live in that would convince people to move here. Here's an excerpt:

Move to Our Town!

It has great services like:

1. Blongo Hotel

2. Great Police Stations

These places are fabuluse! They also get alot of busness!

Hmm. I don't think her message comes across quite like she intended.

Deadbeat and Hobo

2008-01-16T15:37:00.000-06:00

Both of those are words that describe me, apparently.

I went to our annual homeowners association meeting last night. During the meeting they had all the committee chair people get up and give the synopsis of what they had been doing that year and what they planned to do next year. All the chair people took time to thank their committee members. Then the landscaping committee chairman got up and did his schpiel and then went through and named his committee members. The last thing he said was, "and Alvarez somebody, haven't seen her around much." Wha? Huh? I attempted to volunteer for the landscaping committee two years ago when at the annual meeting they said they really needed help. I emailed the board and said I'd like to volunteer and I never heard a word back from them. So apparently my name has been on the committee roles for 2 years and they think I just volunteered and never bothered showing up. Geesh!! I'm a deadbeat and I didn't even know it.

Then, to top it off, when I got home and tried to give my husband a kiss, he pulled back and told me my breath smelled like "hobo." Nice. He actually asked me if I had been drinking. And for any of you who may be lurking (I'm probably flattering myself here) that don't know already, I'm a MORMON, which means I do not so much as take a sip of alcohol. Ever. But maybe I should start. Then instead of sitting silently at those homeowner meetings turning beet red while they mention me as "the girl who never comes around", maybe I could summon up some liquid courage and stand up and drunkenly demand to know WHO IT WAS who put my name on the landscaping committee and never bothered telling me. Then I could call them out in front of the whole neighborhood and demand their resignation from the board. Yes. I'm sure that would repair my deadbeat hobo reputation.

Buyer's butterflies

2008-01-14T14:47:00.000-06:00

I've got butterflies in my stomach right now because I'm a frugal girl who just bought something very expensive. We are going to put wood floors in our house. Saturday afternoon I finally found a style and color that I liked that was on clearance at a great price. The guy told me they had had that style for quite a while without a ton of interest. I decided to take home a sample just to make sure that it matched my tile like I thought it did. I got home and checked and it looked good, but by then I didn't feel like racing back to the store before they closed. They're only open 3 hours on Sunday, so I figured my chances were fine that when I went in on Monday they'd still have it. Well, I was wrong. And I was so darn tired of driving all over town only to find floors I didn't want at prices I didn't want to pay, that I caved and bought the floor that I really liked, but at a price I did not like to pay. The floor that I saw in the beginning and would have bought "if price were not an issue." I put that in quotes because I've said that phrase many times over this past week as I've stared longingly at that sample that I knew we should NOT buy. Price is an issue with me. It always is, and it always will be, even if someday I get stinkin' rich. It's just a part of my personality. The only time I can break from that is if I absolutely LOVE something and I can justify that I will use it for a very long time. Which is what I tried to tell myself in this instance, and I hope it turns out to be true. Well, the part about using it for a very long time will definitely be true. It's the part about loving it that I'm worried about. I am not good at picturing a finished product in my mind, and although the sample is absolutely beautiful, I'm very nervous at the thought of glueing that much money- I mean, wood- to my floor and finding that it doesn't look nearly as good with my stuff as it did in the showroom. It makes me more nervous than any other purchase I've ever made I think, because even if you buy an expensive sofa, you can always return it if it doesn't fit your vision. I'm a compulsive receipt saver for just that reason. But this stuff will be cut up, nailed, and glued before I can decide. I can hardly bear it. If it does not end up being "just what I always wanted" I'll be heartbroken. Oh pleeeeeeeeeeaaase be pretty!

Sugar and spice and everything nice

2008-01-13T22:28:00.000-06:00

Supposedly that's what little girls are made of, and little boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Well, the person who wrote that poem had never met my son. Dario Jr. went to a Christmas party last month and made cookies. He proudly showed me his work, and then pulled out the cookie he made especially for me. And may I just say, I am the only one who got a heart. Sugar and spice and everything nice. That is what my little boy is made of.

Long vacation made me lazy

2008-01-06T22:17:00.000-06:00

I want to keep up with blogging, but after our looooooooooong vacation, I'm feeling too lazy to sit at my desk and write anything in a purposful manner. I do however, have a a couple pictures for your viewing pleasure that I managed to dig up at my parents house in Montana. No Cool Story asked for it a while ago, so here's evidence of my lazy-eyed-duct-taped-eye-patch days. Man I was cool.

There I was thinking I looked so pretty in my little pink dress and fancy lace parasol, feeling like a model while the photographer took shot after shot, when all he was really doing was trying to get the best angle to make me look as un-cockeyed as possible so my parents would purchase lots of pictures. (This picture does not show me in all my lazy-eyed glory, but it's the only one I could find....)

Messy hair, toothless, and lazy-eyed with a glamorous guaze and duct-taped eye patch. I was every little boys dream girl.

Cat humor

2007-12-14T16:35:00.001-06:00

If you've had a cat I think you'll find this as funny as I did. I used to have a cat that would lay on my chest while I was trying to sleep and claw me while purring and drooling on my face.

Deep thoughts

2007-12-13T16:26:00.000-06:00

Remember when I said that jogging is a great time to just be one with nature, and lots of times I end up in prayer and deep thought? Well, yesterday I was having some deep thoughts of another type that had nothing to do with praying. I was wondering about the origination of swear words. I mean, who ever thought of those words, and how did they become taboo? And why are they so tempting to use? Did some caveman slam his finger with his club one day and shout out some random four letter nonsense sound and think, "Hey, me like that sound. That sound make Grog feel good release." So then Grog started to say it whenever he was mad or got hurt. Then one day, some other caveman heard Grog say it and they tried it too, and realized it felt good but sounded really bad in front of the other more sophisticated cavemen, so it became taboo. From there it spread like wildfire. Is that how it happened? And should I get my head checked out because I'm actually spending time wondering about these things?

Little loverboy

2007-12-13T16:13:00.000-06:00

Me: "How many girls did you kiss at school today, Dario?"

Dario Jr: "None. I'm saving all my love for you."

awwwwwww

Love my man

2007-12-13T15:43:00.000-06:00

Okay, amidst all my whining the other day, I forgot to mention something good. After I got out of the shower and was freaking out at my son opening up the presents under the tree, Dario quietly got the gifts and took them upstairs and re-wrapped them. That was really nice that I didn't have to do it. But what was even sweeter, was that he used the same ribbon that I had used and tried to make it fancy. I originally had spent quite some time in the closet wrapping these presents and putting ribbon and bows on them to make them look really nice. My husband is not a fancy ribbon type of guy, but he knew that I had taken the extra time, so he tried to recreate it. Little things like this make my heart melt. It wasn't just like mine, but I like it even more because I know that he did it to make me feel better. Here's a sampling of his work:

Also, speaking of my husband, every once in a while mine gets the inkling to bake something. The other day he said, "We should make bread." I said, "We?" I'm not that into baking, and bread is something that I don't even want to attempt. So today he decided to make bread, but then he ran into a recipe for cinnamon roles, so he changed his mind. I don't know if you all will find this nearly as endearing as I do, but I think it's cute as all heck to see my man if the kitchen kneading dough and studying a recipe book. The end result- not so pretty. Or tasty. But, I give you an "A" for effort, babe.

I'm okay now, kind of

2007-12-11T08:49:00.000-06:00

Okay, after reading over my post from yesterday, I think I way overreacted. I feel kind of like the Taco Bell lady from Janssen's blog. So, to those of you who read yesterday's post and thought, "What a psycho", I just want to let you know that I'm slightly more sane today. Just slightly though. I'm still kind of cranky for some reason. So if anyone tries to give me free cinnastix today, I'm not promising there won't be a scene.

Ask me how my day is going. I dare you.

2007-12-10T14:28:00.000-06:00

Because this is going to be a heckuva long rant!

I woke up this morning to a 62 degree house, even though the thermostat was set to 68. Was the heater on? Yes. Was there any heat coming out? No. Did I JUST HAVE MY FURNACES CHECKED LESS THAN A MONTH AGO TO MAKE SURE THIS CRUD WOULDN'T HAPPEN?? YES! So I called Sears and they were nice enough to tell me that they could have someone come out tomorrow between 8-5, and most likely charge me $100 to see what was the matter, unless it was determined by the repair guy whether or not it was their fault. Boy, I'm sure the repair guy would just JUMP at the chance to admit mistakes to his company so he could give me free service. Also, wasn't the $160 I paid them a couple weeks ago supposed to be for figuring out if there were any problems? And isn't anything that is wrong right now basically their fault because that is THE WHOLE REASON I HAD THEM COME OUT TO BEGIN WITH!?!? So Dario decided to get up into the attic and see if there was just a switch flipped or something. When he got up there he found the furnace covers off, wires exposed and all. Fine job this service technician did. So he put the covers back on and hoped that would solve the problem because there was a safety switch that would be pushed when the covers went on. The heater did not come on. So now I was really fuming! My heater was working absolutely fine when I called to get the maintenance check. Now, after the technician comes out, it's not working, and he was obviously careless enough to leave the covers off, so who knows what else he messed up? I called back and asked for a refund of the $80. Okay, I didn't ask. I demanded. But of course they have to switch me to approx. 4 different departments before I get someone on the phone who can actually do something about my request. Right then, the heater kicks on. I don't know if it needed time to reset or what. But I was still ticked off and still wanted a refund because I think it's absolutely ridiculous that I've wasted a whole morning being frozen and talking to all their stupid reps and having to fix the stupid technician's mistake. So this is the lady's response, "No, we don't do refunds of maintenance fees." So I asked to speak to her manager. Then she goes, "ummmm, no, we don't have a manager". I say "You mean to tell me that you have no manager or supervisor on your department?" She says, "No, there's only six of us here." Nice. But she is helpful enough (and I say that in the most sarcastic way) to transfer me to another department. Then I get a bad connection. I talk to Monica for a minute and tell her I can barely hear her, then the line goes dead. So I proceed to start all over and call someone (the 6th person by now) and explain the ENTIRE situation for the 6th time, who proceeds to put me on hold for quite some time, and then when he comes back on he tells me, "I see that you've spoken to customer relations and they've already denied you a refund. Sorry." And folks, I didn't even put in all the details to this story, such as having to hear at least 3 times this morning "Thank you for holding. We are experiencing heavy call volume at this time..."

I am steamed. And yes, I have considered the possibility that I've overreacted to this whole thing because people make mistakes like leaving the cover off a furnace even though they may not be COMPLETELY incompetent. But right now, I'm just ticked, so let me be.

Frustration number 2. Can you guess? Yup, it's my 2 year old. Today he managed to find his sister's purse and scatter her birthday money in various parts of the house, pull out EVERY pair of his pajamas and scatter them all over his floor, and take out every toy he's ever owned, along with all the pieces of his "Go Fish" game, and throw them willy nilly throughout his bedroom, the hallway, and the stairs. Also, the icing on the cake. I went to take a shower and left my husband in charge. I don't blame him for this, by the way, I just had to add the husband part so you wouldn't think I left two 2-year-olds completely unattended. While I took a shower, these two pulled all the cushions off the couch, dumped my tray of pretty, don't-you-dare-touch-these candles onto the couch, and proceeded to unwrap the presents that were under the tree.

Frustration number 3. I belong to a freecycle group, which is a local online thing where people offer to give things for free to keep them out of the landfill, or just because they don't want/need them anymore. I offered a pair of brand-new, never used jeans the other day. They were too small and I'm never going to fit into them, and I'd had them too long to return them to the store. This lady wanted them and I put them in a bag and set them outside my door for her to pick up. Then I get this email saying that she drove all the way from Austin to pick them up and they weren't there. I checked outside and they were gone. They had to have been stolen right off my porch. I wrote her back and apologized profusely and told her they had been stolen. I even went out of my way to write to another woman who wanted them but had been turned down and make sure she didn't misunderstand me and pick them up. She didn't. So I wrote again to let this other lady know. Then today, a new member on freecycle who lives right in the near vicinity of me and is using the name "JaneDoe" posted the same size new with tags jeans. This is either a huge coincidence or she is the one that took them. So this other lady sees this message obviously, and assumes this is me posting under another name, and messing with people. She writes me a nasty email accusing me of pulling immature pranks. Also, she writes that I didn't even have the decency to email her back. So she obviously got none of my previous emails and thinks I'm a total scammer. Probably my emails went to her junk folder or something. People know each other a little bit on this list, so I'm now wondering how many people she warned about me.

And now, my kids are home from school, and the fighting has commenced.

And I can't even eat chocolate to soothe myself, because if I gain any more weight I'm going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe, as I know have to suck in to get into my fat pants.

So I am on the verge people. Don't you dare say anything mean to me today or I will punch you in the face.

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus

2007-12-09T10:58:00.000-06:00

Last night we attended our church's Christmas party, and at the end, Santa Claus made an appearance. My kids had different reactions to that.

Gabriella knows all about Santa not being real, which we didn't even have to explain to her actually. A couple years ago she just figured it out herself. When I said something about Santa coming soon, she said, "Mom, Santa's not real." When I asked her why she thought that, her response was, "Mom, come on, a man with flying reindeer who goes around the whole world in one night? Sorry, but that just can't happen." So she basically spared me having to eventually tell her on my own, which I was glad for. Anyway, back on topic- in her eyes she's way too old and cool to sit on Santa's lap, but not too cool for a candy cane, so she skipped the whole line and went straight to the lady with the basket of candy.

Dario Jr. still believes in Santa, but he's old enough to realize that the Santas that he sees in public all look different. We've gotten around that by telling him that those are all the real Santa's helpers. Santa needs helpers because he's so busy at the North Pole right now trying to get ready for Christmas, that he just doesn't have time to come and see everyone right now, so his helpers see the kids and then they report back to Santa. He wasn't too excited to sit on the fake Santa's lap, but he really wanted a candy cane, so he did it anyway. As we were standing in line though, he said, "I'm gonna pull down his beard and then jump off and grab a candy cane." Such a darling, ain't he?

Then there was Roman. Oh this was the fun part. Last year he didn't really get the concept of Santa. This year, he knows exactly what's going on, which is that this nice fat bearded guy is here for the sole purpose of giving him candy. (He doesn't get that Santa brings toys yet, he's only concerned with the candy.) He was so excited while we were standing in line. Actually, I had to pull him back from Santa to get him in line in the first place, because he marched straight up and stood in front of Santa trying to get his attention while another little girl was in his lap. As we stood in line he was talking so fast he could hardly keep up with himself. What he said went something like this, "Is that Santa?!Does he have candy?!Is he gonna gimme candy?!He's gonna gimme candy!Where the North Pole?!He lives in the North Pole!Why the North Pole?!Where he lives?!He says 'Ho Ho Ho'!I got a cookie!I'm gonna show him my cookie!Are he's gone be 'ho' in?!" (As in "ho ho ho" ing). It was so fun to see him excited, but then I actually missed seeing him talk to Santa, because it seems that while I was engaged in conversation with some ladies behind us in line, he snuck back up to the front and inserted himself onto Santa's lap. When I noticed he was gone and turned to look for him, I saw him coming back from Santa's direction with a smile on his face and a candy cane in hand. I didn't see the exchange, but I imagine it went something like this:

Roman barges to front of line and hops onto Santa's lap.

Santa: "Uh, hello little boy. What's your name?" (and why are you
unattended?!)

Roman: "Roman. Are you gonna gimme some of that candy?" points to
basket of candy canes

Santa: "Oh, hi Roman. Have you been a good boy this year?"

Roman: "Yes. Are you gonna gimme me candy?"

Santa: "Well, just a minute here. What do you want for Christmas this year,
Roman?"

Roman: "Candy." (points again) "Right there. That
candy."

Santa gives up and hands the kid a candy cane. Roman walks back to
me, pleased as punch with how his visit with Santa went.

Oh the joy of Christmas!

Hooray!

2007-12-09T10:52:00.000-06:00

My retainer has been found! And by the little thief that stole it, no less! He got in trouble for something else this morning and I sent him to his room. A few minutes later he came running out saying "I found your 'tainer!" Apparently he thought this would put him in my good graces. He was right. Not only did he get to come out of his room, but I promptly gave him the candy cane that he'd been begging me for all morning.

So I no longer have to worry about my teeth reverting to their former state of vampire-ly resemblance, and all is right with the world.

Where do thieves stash their loot?

2007-12-06T10:43:00.000-06:00

If you were two years old, where would you stash your mother's retainer? He says he swallowed it but I don't buy it. I think he's just trying to throw me off the trail....

PS. I already checked under the couch cushions where he hid the stolen baby Jesus last week.

Not appropriate

2007-12-05T21:10:00.001-06:00

Okay Mormon readers. This is inappropriate humor right here, so stop reading now! For all the rest of you (yes, I know you are ALL still reading, but if you don't comment no one will know!)

Tonight we went to a Chinese restaurant to eat. While we were waiting for our food we were reading the little paper placemats at our seats. It was all about what animal you were on the zodiac chart according to what year you were born. So we were going around and I said, "Oh, I'm a snake." Then Gabby read hers and everyone else's. "Daddy and Dario, you're both a horse. I'm a dragon." Then she found Roman's birth year under the picture of the rooster. "Hey Roman, you're a cock." Apparently that wasn't the animal Roman wanted to be because he screamed out in his loudest voice in the middle of the restaurant, "I am NOT a COCK!" Lovely.

Innocence lost

2007-12-03T19:59:00.000-06:00

I took my kids outside today to ride their bikes. They absolutely love to be outside riding their bikes or scooters and talking to the neighborhood kids, and I love that it's good exercise for them and that they get to socialize a little. But they don't get to do these activities nearly as often as they would like, simply because I can't spend hours outside watching their every move. I can't count the number of times my daughter has asked if they could please go play in the FRONT yard this time, and I've had to say "no" because I needed to work on things inside the house and couldn't watch them. I really feel as if they have been cheated out of what should be a really wonderful part of childhood because our society has deteriorated so much that parents have to be fearful to let their children out of their sights for even a moment. When I was little, we would ask our mother if we could go out and play, and the answer would be, "Yes, be home by such and such a time," and we'd run off into the neighborhood to find our friends and play for hours. We rode bikes, jumped rope, built forts, made snowmen, rollerskated, you name it. When we went to the store, us kids could run off and play in the toy aisle while our mom shopped. We had some freedom and felt safe. I'm so sad that my own kids can't do that. I can't let them out in the neighborhood without worrying that they'll be grabbed by a kidnapper in a passing car. I can't even let them go a couple aisles over in Target for fear that some sicko might be staking out that section just waiting to expose himself to my kids. And we wonder why our children want to sit in front of the TV for hours and are getting fat. They're bored out of their minds being trapped in the house all day! I hate that we live in such a scary world now. If only we could go back in time....

Gabriella is 9!

2007-12-02T20:34:00.000-06:00

Gabriella's birthday was yesterday. She's now 9 years old. I love her at this age. Not that I didn't love her at all the other ages too, but I like the stage she's in. She's still young enough that her rebellions and misbehaviors are fairly easily dealt with. She's old enough that we can carry on a conversation about life. She's old enough to get subtle humor, and she makes some great jokes of her own that I actually find funny, not ones I have to fake laugh at to be nice. And the best part is, she loves spending time with me. I know the day is not far off that she will choose her friends over me, so I'm trying to enjoy this stage as much as possible. I'm really glad to have such a sweet, beautiful, intelligent daughter.

Here are some pics from her birthday party/sleepover. Her party was a Hollywood theme. We set up a red carpet and did interviews with them. The girls were more into being singers than movie stars. They lip synched in an area I had set up for them, and Dario actually made music videos of them. Then Gabby had a couple friends sleep over and in the morning Dario made Gabby some heart-shaped pancakes. He did it last year and she made a special request this time, so I think this will be a tradition.

Frugal son in the making

2007-12-02T19:55:00.000-06:00

Roman loves to go shopping with me, and it seems he's learning a thing or two while we're doing it. Tonight I was in his room with him and we were playing with his cash register. I handed him a little toy and asked him "How much does this cost?" He scanned it with his hand scanner and told me "Too much!" I've taught him well.

7 things about me

2007-11-30T13:24:00.000-06:00

Meleah asked me to write 7 interesting things about myself. So here goes.

1. When I was little I had a lazy eye. I was supposed to wear a patch over the good eye to help the bad one get stronger, but for some reason my mom decided that rather than buying an actual eye patch, she'd use gauze and duct tape. So attractive.

2. My family's home burned down twice. The first time I was the one who started the fire. I had a new cardboard playhouse that we had just gotten for Christmas. I had the bright idea that I would use my parents' cigarette lighter to just light a little flame on the window and then blow it out, for fun. That doesn't work with cardboard. The second time was my sister's fault. And my parents actually still love us both. And allow us in their home.

3. When my now husband and I were 15 years old, we were nominated for Homecoming King and Queen. He was Mr. Popularity, and I was just newly dating him, so they picked me because it'd be "cute" I think.

4. When I was a freshman in high school, my history teacher was making jokes about women being in the Olympics and how they could only do synchronized swimming. He was just teasing, but I got an attitude and walked out of class. A bunch of other girls followed me, but then the teacher came out in the hall and demanded everyone get back in class. Everyone else turned around, but I marched down to the office and told the secretary that I wasn't going back into class because my teacher was making chauvinistic jokes. I sat in the office the whole hour. That teacher never liked me after that.

5. I can't whistle or wink.

6. I will never invite people over for dinner. It is SO stressful for me. I can't stand the pressure of having to have something done at a certain time, of worrying whether or not they'll like the food, of worrying that I'll burn or under cook the food, trying to make conversation during the meal, talking too much so people can't eat because they're busy responding to me, possible awkward silence, and on and on. It's too much pressure. I love to have people over for games and snacks though.

7. I peel my toenails down as short as I can get them without making them bleed. You can hardly tell that I even have a toenail on my pinkie toe.

The bane of my existence

2007-11-28T10:52:00.000-06:00

"Doodlebops." This is the most annoying show to come on TV since Teletubbies. I'd sit and watch a Barney marathon instead of watching this junk. Everything about them annoys me, from their stupid hair to their stupid outfits to their dancing and the tone of their voices. And now this is Roman's favorite show. Lord have mercy!

Happy Birthday to me

2007-11-27T08:41:00.000-06:00

It's my birthday today. I'm 30 years old now, but I'm not freaking out. I'm aging gracefully. Okay, I can only say that because I already had my "early-life crisis" when I turned 25. And then again when I was 28. For some reason 25 made me feel old, as I figured now I had to round UP to 30, and also the insurance companies didn't even regard me as young and reckless anymore. Traumatic. Twenty-eight was 10 year reunion time, and that freaked me out because I started asking myself "What have I done in the last 10 years that's noteworthy?" and I came up with nothing. But I was mistaken, and I figured that out after a while. Being a good wife and a good mother to 3 children IS noteworthy, even though much of modern society may not think so. So now I'm 30, and I'm A-okay with it. I'm happy with who I am and what my life has turned out like so far. Grateful to be old enough to have learned a few things, but still young enough that I can learn lots more. Yep, 30 is alright with me.

Now these two wrinkles that seem to have suddenly appeared on my forehead are another matter altogether....

Sniffle, sniffle

2007-11-26T22:04:00.000-06:00

I'm sick. I'm a little cranky. And I've got lots of snot. Sort of like this-

Mass Christmas Letter? check

2007-11-24T22:21:00.000-06:00

We're traveling for Christmas this year so I have been in a frenzy trying to get all the things on my list checked off so we can be ready to go on the 17th.

shopping for gifts, check

buy a gift for the gift-exchange at a party I'm attending, check

put up decorations, check

assembled the tree (actually I delegated that to my husband), check (fake tree, save the Earth people!!)

addressed all the Christmas card envelopes, check

write the year-end-what's-been-happening-in-our-family-I-don't-have-the-time-to-tell-you-all-individually letter, check

Regarding #6, I know that much fun is made of these types of mass mailings at Christmas-time, but I actually really enjoy getting the letters and hearing about what's happening in others' lives. Makes me feel like I kind-of still know these people who I only speak to once a year via Christmas card. And I hope that by reading our letters they'll feel like they kind-of still know us too. I'm sentimental like that.

Movin' up in the world

2007-11-23T21:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we had a high class Thanksgiving. Yessiree, no more white trash Thanksgivings for us. We're movin' up in the world, as evidenced by my new gravy boat.

new high class gravy boat

old white trash gravy boat

Now that I'm high class, I've decided that it would be bad for my image to socialize with non-high class, ugly-gravy-boat-owning people. I will be taking applications for my new social circle for a limited period of time. Please submit your requests along with gravy boat pictures to highclasssheyenne@pleaseletmebeyourfriend.com

Thank you and good day.