No, it's not Roman's birthday today. This is just what I say to myself to explain the actions of my naughty/mischievous/adorable/did I say Naughty? little boy.
These are just from today:
Dario: "What's that on your finger, Roman?"
Dario: "What IS that on your finger?"
Dario: "What is this?" picks the thing off Roman's finger
Roman: "It's my booger."
Me: "Roman, be quiet. We're in church."
Roman: screams, cries, whines
Me: "Roman, you need to shush or we'll have to go to time out."
Roman: cries and whines some more
Me: "Okay, time out." take him outside and sit him down against the wall.
Roman: whines and cries over and over "I'll be nice Mommy, I'll be nice. Mommy I'll be nice. Mommy, mommy, I'll be nice."
Me: ignores him and doesn't make eye contact
Roman: "Mommy, I'll be nice. I'll be nice, Mommy. Mommy I'll be ni-i-i-ce."
Me: still ignoring
Roman: "Mommy, I'll..." draws entire arm back "...BE..." SMACK! "...NICE!!"
Tonight, out of the blue while he looks at me from across the counter.
"Mommy? Can you give me fitty bucks? I need some bucks."