Tuesday, November 13, 2007

No speako Es-pan-ol

Okay, I have a Hispanic last name because I'm married to a wonderful/handsome/funny (are you reading this babe?) man whose family is from Argentina. But I am 100% white girl , and I can't even say my own last name with the emphasis in the right parts like it should be, so it's kind of amusing/annoying when I open my mail and inside are Spanish language advertisements and magazines from companies who just assume (or hope, maybe) that I speak Spanish. Or telemarketers call me and say "Hola Senora _____!." Then I end up saying, "Uhhhhhhhhhhh, no speaka Es-pan-ol", because I get flustered when someone unexpectedly talks to me in Spanish and I don't have time to think of the right way to say it. Oh well, if I said it the right way they might not believe me, which has happened a couple of times in person actually. They try to tell me, "See? You do speak a little," and then I pinch my thumb and pointer finger together as small as possible while I say "muy, muy poquito" as in, "please don't speak any more Spanish to me. I might vaguely understand what you are saying, but I have very little chance of responding without making a fool out of myself." So believe me people. No -speaka- Eth-pon-yol. Comb-pren-day? Moo-ee bee-en.

7 comments:

JustRandi said...

Maybe you could learn to say "I'm on the no call list and I'm going to sure you."
I have no patience for sales calls. Isn't that mean?

Bart said...

Jo no hablo espanol either, mi amiga (If that's wrong, blame the internet). But I'd like to learn. What a useful language! Chinese too.

Bart said...

I think it should have been "Yo" rather than "Jo," although I'm sure there are plenty of Joes out there that don't speak Spanish either . . .

Robin said...

This reminds me of a funny story that happened in one of my classes at BYU. The professor, John Torres, was calling roll on the first day of class. When he came upon my classmate's Japanese name, he began speaking to her in what seemed like paragraphs of Japanese, to which she replied, "Huh?" He then made some comment about how sad it is that, in this country, we do not speak the language of our forefathers. After he finished with his remarks, another student in the class began addressing him in Spanish, and you know what? The guy didn't know a lick of Spanish. I kinda remember him turning some shade of red after that.

Sheyenne said...

Hey justrandi,
I have no patience for sales calls either, which is why I tell my 2 year old, "it's for you!" That's a twofer. I get to laugh at the salespeople trying to get him to give me the phone, and I get to watch him so happy to have someone on the phone to talk to (until they get frustrated and hang up).

Sheyenne said...

Bart,
Jo was funnier and made the point better! Also, that's how it sounds.

Robin,
That must have been hilarious to watch. Fell right off that little soapbox of his, didn't he?

Jules said...

Giving the phone to the two year old. That is a FABULOUS idea. Now I actually want a salesperson to call me so I can see how that works and get a good laugh!